life is so tough... ='(

so hard to forget the person you love in your life..
i think my 3rd relationship is true love...
but i have to let it go because i know i has no more chance. =''(
what i can do now is to cry and move on...
cry as much as i can to release all my emotions...
next time, if i have any problems, i will not tell my parents and my brothers anymore...
i will settle by myself...
because i don't want to be a troublemaker anymore....
i just keep in my heart....
silently tell my best friend only...
usually i tell my best friend, but we long time no contact,
that's why we feel not really close anymore.. =''(
if i know earlier this problem will occur, i should tell her...
then i can take her advise..
but it's too late..
what i did, i have really really regretted... =''(
i am serious..
there is no more chance anymore....
maybe next life, got chance..
but this life no more chance anymore..
because i don't want anything to happen again if this thing come again...
i don't want anyone to get hurt... especially the person...
it's very tough to forget the person you really loved....
i used to care and love him too much..
maybe.. maybe i love him too much... i 'sayang' him too much..
i treated this person as my family..
as for my grandparents too... it's been nearly 4 years..
my sadness still not yet cure... ='''(
so i don't know how to continue my life without my loved once...='''(
if only the person can feel my care and love =''(
i am very depress now...

my mother still don't understand my feeling..
just now i went temple..
i thought  i can be better then i can come back and study..
but she keep telling me problems..
especially my brother..
and she kept on talking and talking..
really no peace...
i thought i go temple and can sleep awhile...
no one will disturb me...
next time don't want to bring  her go temple already..
everytime like that wan... =''(
go where also must bad-mouth... =''(
i don't like lar... T_T
in lrt also like that..
everyone looking eh... 'tak malu wan' =''(
i really don't like the way she talks lor...
really don't care people feelings wan...
she should know i very depress..and also need pressure in my studies...
she somemore adds pressure to me...
how can.... =''(
she wants me to die is it???
i also don't know lar...
life seriously very tough... ='(
i just need peace form Buddha and Guan Yin only....
i hope They can help me...
please help me.... i want a person who is willing to accompany me and make me happy everyday... =''(
Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu.. <3

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