WeLcome 2 Mickey Jayin page =)

I started to feel that I couldn't trust anyone anymore.. it's not like me anymore... I feel like I'm like different person.. not Jayin... it's like different.. you know what I meant??? I uhm... I just don't know... don't know how to say... but I feel like I always make wrong decision.. When I do this, no one care for me... They said I'm wrong... When I helped people, some of them never appreciate... it's like they are just using me... I being kind to them... but it seems like I cannot do it anymore... only those who always show one face, I will show my kindness... but to those who I can feel... I can see through my eyes... they have two faces... I don't so trust them anymore... Those who lied at me.. I don't even trust them anymore.. It's true that I'm naïve... I always think that when people help me, I will treat them very good and think they are the best... but I don't know in future still the same or not.. I just do...

1st, i do things got reason... well... my long lost friend..(we are no longer friends) i saw her in the bus just now... 27/5/2013.. i wanted to say hi to her... but i don't want... why i don't want.... because she is the one who blocked me in fb, thinking that she shouldn't friend me.. and also smsing me non-sense... (what non-sense???) saying that i'm blaming them for getting emo.. and whatsoever... the main thing is i don't like her bf... okiee.. i'm done... blame yourself... because i still want to friend you... but you made this decision.. if you want to talk to me,sorry. i don't want.. because you are not my true friend... true friends share, argue, and do everything together... no matter what they do, they are still friends... what you did to me??? removing me as a daughter, then after that removing,even block me in fb.. what can i do??? you don't even care my feelings... okiee... fine...so i saw you.. and act as i don't know you.. ...

i don't care how i react, i don't care what i do... and i don't care whatever... you think you are so great, then don't ask me anything... ignoring me after i help you... what is your problem... yarhh.. i don't post 'emo' status in facebook.. because it's like sharing my life with others.. nonono..... if i want to post anything, i will do my blogging here... don't think that i coward don't want to post in facebook.. i got.. but not so often... wahahaha... but i just hope people around me has feelings as I do... i help them, i want a favor back... not just ignore me when i need help... i  hate this kind people... yarh..i don't hate in reality.... but i don't like them.... what do i mean by that??? i don't like them because they are so arrogant... it's like i never exist in their life... fine fine fine.... whatever..... i do things by my own... BUT... IF YOU DON'T  HELP ME ANYTHING, THEN SORRY... I HAVE...

You see the time is 2.18am.. what am I doing??? playing??? noo.. i'm not playing... i stay up late because i want to do finish my work, so that i can do revision.. yes, it's true.... and now i feel like blogging... so i do blogging for awhile...=) i'm listening music.. music which has full of feelings.. that's what i like... ^_^ and my head is getting better...  just need to rest and don't too stress on homeworks... hehehe... went to one utama just now after eating dinner.... lolzzz.... i see so many people and my eyes went like this ---> @_@ lol... i know you are laughing.. =___="" stop laughing... xD.... i know it's funny.. but stop.. please.... =.='' just want to express something out... i can see that i'm getting older and the world has changed.... so i was thinking of changing myself.. changing what??? i couldn't say out.. but i hope that what i do, i have my own reasons... if my friends hate me, then i cannot ...

today, I never go for Management Accounting class...because I have to go hospital..=( okiee.. let's skip how i go and what i did... lolzz... doctor told me.. i am okie.. just that, got large pressure in my head.. =___=|| so my eyes got blur when seeing things... so she gave me medicine... then i went to pasar malam with my parents...lol... sooo... like that lorh... oh ya.. i have a medical leave also.. so tomorrow I will be staying at home.. relax my brain.. hope no one give pressure to me..lolzzz i will be fine soon.. and want to study.. i want to earn a lot of money... so i have to study  lorh.. bahaha... =P hmm.... then i have something to say to someone... you better don't be a BITCH in front of me.. if i really can't control my emotions...  I will say all the words that can hurt you! doesn't mean that you don't know me... but you can't be rude saying that 'i don't know who are you and bye'.. walao.. it's so...

I wondered what was my luck these few days.. why it is so bad??? I want notes, but no one response to me…. =( Then should I ask lecturer to give me??? But how?? I scare she/he will scold me.. haizz.. Then.. if he/she asked me.. tell courserep.. if I say he ignored me.. then how??? I scare problem occurs… =___=|| So.. I don’t know what to do… I send fb message to them.. but no one response.. I really need the notes to study… it’s already 2 weeks… going to be 3 weeks.. I really hope juniors can be cooperative… =o=’’ Kids these days never respect elderlies… it’s just so sad.. =_____=|| that day I remembered it was on Saturday.. I went out with my family… then when my daddy went to find lift, he told us to wait upstairs… And also I told daddy that, ‘ go down there, maybe got lift…’ I didn’t realize that pushing the trolley down the elevator can drop.. So when my brother came up and told my mother and I that ‘we can go’ Then somehow, something tells...

wait!! first of all... please don't be so emotional when you read this section kay...=) just feeeeellll like doing thiiissss.... heheheeee.... and if i had mention your name... please don't be sensitive or what kayyy...=) i won't murder you.. LOL... you are still my friend.. okieesss... should I start??? xDD... feel sooo.... awkward... *blush* but i dont care.. this is my life.. whatever.. lol.. my blog my life.. xDD...=P okieeess.. let me begin.. lololol... let's start from young until now (my love first) when i was 6 years old...... i met this boy.... his name is Darryl Yap... we played everyday together in tadika.. so i was feeling that he is a kind person.. *what do you think kids think during that age huh???* then whenever a boy who i dislike, he always disturb me.. thank God, Darryl helped and protected me.. so i started to like him.. *somehow on the spot like him.. lol* then he told me that he liked me too.. so we sit together.. even duri...

i just don't know why that some people just think that I wanted to break their relationship... i just don't understand that,how come... 'that' person and I can view same video at the same time... okieee.. i don't want to say so much... just thinking... i hope that they don't stalk me or spying what am I doing... and that day.. i was angry with best friend because 'that' person sat with her.. and i FELT that 'that' person saw me and laughing me because i'm sitting alone... i got the feeling of that.. and my instincts are always right.. so i doubt that 'that' person looked behind for what...maybe pretending... but i won't give up.. and whatsoever... i'm alone so what??? at least more peaceful and also i will be happy... if 'that' person want back 'that' person friend, then go ahead.... i don't owned 'that' person anything... we are equal...everyone is equal.. i just feel hatred and not sati...

we, as a human.. knows how to build up friendship from stranger... it's hard isn't it??? =) we do know how to build relationship from friendship... but it's easy to fall in love... how??? always spend time together.. but some never realize how important is the person next to him/her... until one day.... he/she leaves for good... then she/he will regret not telling 'i love you from the beginning' it's hard to say 'i love you' when you are seriously love a person... but i wonder why some human... when you said 'i love you'.... 1. some will start avoid you... 2. some will say 'sorry i love another person' 3. some will say 'maybe not the time yet' 4. some will say ' you are not my type, i'm sorry' 5. some will say 'it's better to be friends' there are many factors.... these are hurting the feelings to you... the person.. whom you loved... never realize how important you are... until you...

no matter what..i can't give up on my studies.. i failed this accounting course.... at the first moment.. i woke up.. i had terrible nightmare... one of my classmates said that i'm not joining them soon... then i keep crying and say.. no... cannot be... cannot like that... then i quickly wake up and check facebook.. but nothing happens..just notification came out... so i panic, nervous, scare.... my friends encourage me to check...because it's the reality... i couldn't face it... because my feelings are very very sensitive.... so i told them.. i don't want.. wait until school starts... but they still force me...no matter what just don't give up.. so i just listen to them.. i checked... but tears rolling down so fast after that... i just couldn't help it... it feels like i failed in my life.. *totally* i told my best friend about my results.. she said stop crying already... it's okie... and she made me feel better..... so i'm okie....

if i have a boyfriend in future, i know what to do... =) i had learnt many things about love and care...^^ no matter what, i will listen to my lecturer(although i don't like their attitude and behaviour) lol.. the fact.. that... it reminds us, not we want to remember it... don't you get it??? sometimes you don't feel it, but it just came across your mind..=( silence is gold, but my heart will terribly hurt.... ='( i will never do this kind of things.. wasting time..=.='' no matter what.. i MUST graduate my ACCOUNTING COURSE!! then i can go to other industry... ='') that's what i learnt in 20 years.... !! i'm always happy... because i have a wonderful and lovely family and a house to stay... you can go to the future... but something will just make you sad... indeed.. =( i know... some humans are not meant to be.. you know what it means... learnt learn and will learn... ...

sometimes i think back, i angry.. i angry, then i become sad... sad already, then cry.. cry already, want to release out.... want to release out but scare hurt people feelings... scare to hurt people feelings but couldn't control emotions.. couldn't control emotions, heart pain... what should I do??? what i do also no use.. good or bad also want scold me..what the heck larh..=__='' when i eat fast, you said i simply bite... when i eat slow, you said i eat a lot... when i go out with friends, you said i spend a lot of money, when i never go out with friends, you said i stay at home like dumbo never go out... when i go to work, you said very mafan must find you everyday and also keep on eye on me... when i never go work, you say i lazy pig... when i want to find job online, you don't let, you scare scam... when i listen to you and never find job online, you said i very useless... when you said asked for recommendation job, you said i have no luc...