WeLcome 2 Mickey Jayin page =)

hmm... sometimes we need to ignore those who only always think themselves... how many times you tell them what you don't like, they still want to do it.. these kind of people sometimes need to be ignore... i don't know why got such people in this world=.='' why they can't understand another person's feelings.... they should understand that, if another person do something they don't like, probably it's because they did to that person before... not to say that person want to get revenge... is that that person want to show how it feels when getting into that situation... I, myself... i really hope I have friends and family who can understand my feelings... what I don't like, I will say out directly... whether it is hurtful or not, at least I am telling the truth.. I am not lying... I want people to know me more as well as I want to know them more... How I tell them, if they still remain the same, then i give up... I really give up.. why??...

i was wondering all the time.... some people are acting to treating me good... some people are acting to treating me bad... i don't know why... i just don't know why.. and..what somemore.... some people you know, they just don't remember you... how cruel are they.... can forget friends.... yet act as don't know you... some people you know, and they know you, they ask you to forget them...you think very easy??? you haven't get it, so you haven't feel it.... some people you want to keep in touch with them back, first thing they will always ask.... 'who are you' some pretend... some really forget... i wondering.... if i myself can remember friends so easily... why people can't remember their friends as well??? do they cherish friendship??? i don't know.. i just want to tell everyone... if you yourself always forget your old or lost friend, and also the friends who are always caring for you, always remember them... most of th...

now is what time....... another 6 more hours i will be having exam again..=.='' wish me good luck.. i just feel like want to play... i don't know why... =0='' it's ok.. must stand it.... i heard that my mother told my brother, if i cannot go through this semester than i straight change course, don't waste time??? oh my god... how leh??? i only suitable for music.. but the thing is music is expensive.. =.='' creative arts also can.. but not as music.... what about IT... hmm..i also don't know larh.... i am just not the study type... =( hmm.... i also blur now... my mind has many things.. please go out from my mind for this few weeks.. i want to concentrate and after exam finish, i need to cope up my other subjects... oh, i am very scare.. but my feelings ask me to not study..=( i want to study..i want to get at least diploma... =( my mind want to study..but my feelings/heart don't want...=.= howwwwwwww..... someone please hel...

do you know how much I need you??? when you are away, thousand feelings are in my heart, I couldn't count how much I miss you, please don't go away my baby, i am willing to wait here until you come back, do you know, do you know, there are uncountable boys in this world, but I only love you, when my heart says, I love you (name of person) please come back, please come back to me... I have been waiting for so long, why are you still disappear from my life??? I couldn't stop thinking of you, and wondering why I am such a fool, still wanting you all the time, let me ask you something, is these my mistakes??? my heart smash like a glass fall on the floor, do you know, do you know, how it feels, how pain is it, without you beside me, i still can feel a million miles away, why why why??? because when the rain drops, i am telling you that i miss you, because when the wind blows, i am telling you that i want you, because when the thunder strikes, i am telli...

suddenly think of blogging... hmm... why suddenly think of him again.=.='' now i am very confuse... lol... but nevermind... just let it go... i don't want to post here, if not someone will kill me... well... today very busy... hang out with family... want to see my pictures, can go to my profile in facebook and see.. Mickey Jayin Gan go to that link, can see my profile already.. hehe.. it's all public... =) very happy can hang out with family... luckily my family is good... xD hmm... i wonder why i want to blog now.. just feel like blogging... my feelings want to release something, but don't know why cannot release here.... =( now i become single.... i can like anyone... but how come i feel different now... =.='' different as in my feeling stuck already..lol... i hope this time my exam will be better a lot... can get good results.... i really hope God is helping me... God bless me.. i love you.... and another half more hour is my da...

i don't know whether i should do this or not... it seems hard to do.. it seems easy to say... =.='' but i am a bad decision maker... so i don't know this is a right or wrong decision...=.='' hmm... i thought of changing my life.... changing my life... as in don't play facebook anymore.. just see whether my friend got post anything in facebook... like online for 5 minutes like that.. but it seems hard to do... (i told you that already) hmm.... i used to online is msn messenger.. never had a facebook account before.. until my good friend told me that facebook was a good social network, therefore, i made my mind to sign up.. =.='' give it a try you know..lol.. but.. i didn't know it is so addictive.. haizz... my results were getting worst now.. i thought of changing my life.. not to play facebook anymore...i want to go back my past.... but my friends told me that going back to the past, means i am not ready for the present and futu...

when i am soft to people, they will step on me; I will feel myself hurt... when i am hard to people, they say i cruel; I will feel myself bad... i wonder...what you want me to be NOW.... == sometimes i angry i swallow it only... sometimes i sad i swallow it only... what's your problem??? can't you see my patient??? i learn how to be patient.. because want to maintain friendship... i don't know what kind of people nowadays.. always think they do things are right.. ya i always wrong.. i got admit.. what about people??? some people just never realize.. =.='' sometimes i too angry only release my feelings.. sometimes i too sad only release my feelings... who are you to control me... when you are angry, you sure release your feelings also.. same goes to sad mood... don't keep saying me... i being patient.. i just swallow it.. if i 100% cannot stand anymore, i will be really hard...if not harsh.. don't say i bad.. you should know what had y...

hmm..i can feel that... life is like a tree.... do you know why??? the tree grow up slowly... we also grow up slowly... then the tree become bigger... we also become bigger... then what??? the trees give out oxygen... we give out carbon dioxide... hehe then as the tree getting older and older... the leaves falls... as for we, human, when we grow older and older, our age become more and more, not only that... our hair will drop, our system in our body will be slower... a lot of things happens... =.='' why i can come out these words all.... >< hmm...just want to put some words here... i may drop and cry, people might laugh at me, but no matter what happens, i sure climb and smile, i cannot just stay like this, i know there is something waiting for me. just that i don't want the world to end... i still need my family... i want to do many things in my life.. i want to experience everything... i really wish to.. =) anyways, now is very late... g...

why this world so cruel wan... =( why so heartless... =( whenever i say something about people, they just can bad mouth me like that... ever even think about my feelings first... why like that de??? =( whenever i want to talk to them, they just use one word ( as though they don't want to talk to me) =( why can't they use more words...=( why like that de??? =( whenever they need help only become so nice to me... didn't know they are like that.... =( when they don't need me, but i need them, they don't even bother.. =( why like that de??? i share around my things with people.. but what i got....i got nothing in return... =( i ask help also no one help....=( why like that de....???=( people so selfish... i want to be selfish also cannot... why i so generous de... =( everything also say yes yes yes... if i do abit cruel thing i feel so so so guilty. and when i come back home, i sure tell my mummy that i done wrong thing and go temple do good...

sometimes things change.. i wonder myself when i was young.. what i want to be when i grow up... i thought of becoming a doctor... because i can save people life.. but what... i scare of blood when i getting older..don't know why..== whenever i see blood, i sure run away.. lol.. then now i study accounting.. not my interest.. i wanted to be someone famous.. like singers.. but i dont know i can do it or not.. that's my interest..i wanted to write lyrics... make people have fun and enjoy their life... just that i don't know how to start.. == i wanted to end this course faster.. but the time go so slow... since i meet this boy.... i suddenly like him so much.. i don't know why.. but i know we are not mean to  be together.. fate ran away....he might has a girlfriend now.. =( or maybe single.. =) lol.. (so bad lorh me.. =P) i know that... first feeling sure will remember the feeling.... i don't know when only i can forget him.... first come.. firs...

i just found out a lot of instruments... i really love them so much.. the music... fuyoh.... when sleep on my bed.. fuyoh fuyoh man.. straight go into my dream.. LOL....=P how nice if i can really make my own music... when ah??? i want faster finish my accounting course.. fai ti fai ti.. xD sometimes i can feel hurtful feelings... sometimes happy.... sometimes i think of the memories back... =3 hehe... so shy shy.. xD... i wonder... i keep wondering... where i will go in future??? 0.0 my college canteen also open already.... i want snowflakes... i want i want i want.... why still not yet open..i want to eat... lol... i wonder how much the price.if cheaper then good.. (y) lol =P hmm... marrybrown...one of my friend like wor... maybe i will bring her..^O^ we go together and eat lorh... but i don't know how much wor.. i hope everything is cheaper than outside.. hehe... hmm.... exam is just around the corner... i have to work hard... work hard. then can fin...

wow. exam coming already.... i already plan my timetable, schedule and all those larh..haha... i need to be more and more and more and super more hardworking... i don't know why my results getting worst and worst... but i still need to try right??? still not end of the world yet... some people said 21st december 2012 is end of the world..lol i don't know..  i just do my own work.. ^O^ i feel so headache and stomach pain..don't know why.. and and and i put private blog for these few days, because i need to release some feelings... hurtful feelings.. but i already removed.. now i put public back... just that i hope that i post anything in my blog... please don't assume that i bad mouth or talking the past.. it's just my feelings.. let me release... i want to release my own feelings here.. not in facebook, not in twitter, not in everywhere.. this blog is about my life... i should write all my daily life happenings... that is the meaning of blog... wr...

everytime i think too much, sure head pain wan.. don't know why these few days my stomach and head very pain... why o... =( i not enough rest or what??? is it i miss him too much??? =.='' sometimes i got go to his profile, but nothing I can do. =( haizz... why i still like him.... why and why......=.='' can't i like other boys??? why my feelings still hold back??? aiyoo.... i don't know how to face relationship in future lorh... what if i love a boy so much until cannot forget him??? if let's say that if i marry already..i have a husband.. if he is suddenly gone or divorce me.. what i will do??? how is my feelings??? ='( i don't know... =( i hope and wish that if i get a boyfriend and marry him in future.. i want him to love me, take me, cherish me for who am I forever... together work hard, together play, together eat, together fight, together argue, together smile, together laugh, together cook... and whatever also together......

sometimes, people don't understand other people's feelings... they want to do what thing, they just do... why can't they understand that person feelings??? can't they feel??? hurt??? angry??? sad??? depress??? or whatever??? some of them feel it before also want to do it again... never think of other people feelings... seriously i am feeling now... so hurt... so hurt and so hurt... why people don't understand my feelings wan.. when i truly love that person, that person never appreciate... when i treat a person good, that person go over my head... why??? but if i treat that person bad, he/she will say i bad girl... then what you want me to do??? everything also cannot... this and that i do and say also cannot.. i just release my feelings only ma.. also cannot meh??? if cannot say out here, then what should i do??? keep inside my heart??? let my heart suffer??? i don't want my life to be so short.. i want to live longer... i want to take care...

exams coming, but it's fall around christmas and happy new year.. ='( somemore.. my exam results also so bad this time.. what is wrong with me??? ='( i never put enough effort??? i don't know... i just think of quitting this course, but i cannot... i have to think of my parents feelings also... i scare they angry if i keep failing.. ='( i scare they say me useless... what should i do??? i have no more road to go..='( no one can help me.. V_V i help myself so much already.. but  why still the same?? ='( hmm... i must try to work harder and harder.. maybe change strategy.... ^O^ hmm..='( hopefully my parents don't angry of me... haizzz.. sad.... =( this year really is a terrible year for me.. so many negative things happened to me.. how nice if i go back to 2011... i love that year...