WeLcome 2 Mickey Jayin page =)

these people nowadays.. stupid wan da... always think about their own feelings... you think what huh???  you think making fun of people nice ah huh??? laugh at people funny is it??? don't act as you are perfect... i know who I am... what is my weakness and goods are on my own.. i know what to do... just don't look down at people ok... one day if the person is useful, they won't look at you.. know why??? because you look down at them... because you talk bad things.. oh well.. moreoever... you laugh at them... laughing means what for this matter??? looking down.. am I right???  yes.. no offense... don't boost your ego... because when you boost your ego.. one day you will get it back.. and don't act as you are very smart.. humans are not perfect.... pissed off totally today... and i can't stand any longer.... yishh.... nights people... you just don't know how I feel.... life is so cruel.. is not...! people who are the one make it ...

i don't want i don't want... but why the thing come back wan.... why can't i forget the feeling??? what should I do??? i should not post emo pictures in facebook anymore... my friends were angry and told me not to do so... they are getting tired.. but they should know how i feel mar... ='( but also i cannot think of myself only lar... i should think of others also.. so many months already... why my mind and heart keep the same wan geh... i read many articles... i tried to do most of them... also fail... ='( i don't know what to do already lor... sigh... i only scare now is my studies.. i don't want to fail again... i want this time all pass... i took 7 subjects eh... how many is this.. very pressuring... i hope my parents especially my mother don't put more pressure on me again.... i really don't like she keep talking to me about other peoples' stuff and problems... my problems she don't care wan geh... once i tell he...

yes...i shouldn't post pictures and status in facebook already...people will don't like.. but i just cannot help  it... why?? ='( i am not taking any revenge or angry to make you guilty.... i just want to express my feelings... i really need a lot of time to forget you... we can be friends... yes...can... be friends more happy right??? in future i don't know... now maybe we can be friends... i still treat you as my friend... i know there is no hope to be with you anymore... i don't know what is going on soon. i just couldn't control my emotions... i am sorry.... and i just treat you as my good friend... i hope you can accept m back as friends.. don't cut our relationship... we still can contact each other... someday we sure meet again.. depends on fate... i don't know what will happen in future... just to say sorry to my friends... i posted to many emotions things because i really still sad....extremely... this is a very huge impact...

since we never talk for so long, err, i realize something missing...missing as in friend lost.. i never mean anything else lar.. =) you don't feel anything??? before telling you something, i hope that you got come my blog and read this... hmm... i got something to tell you... but i don't dare to tell you because i scare you don't trust me anymore... but what i said this time were true...really true...i have been thinking for so long, if i can find you back, i sure grab you and tell you~~ what i want say to you now... these are the importance once... whether you believe it or not, it's up to you..i cannot force you.... got once, you told me not to disturb you anymore, i never right??? but you hurt me after that, so i accidentally do this silly things.. before reading, actually i got do some birthday gifts for your mother in my another blog on april... but i just too afraid to let you know.. i scare you will angry... =/ Message : (It might be long for you...

i forget when i eat with my friends in college... it is in a restaurant.. lol... a restaurant la...very expensive.. >< i took some pictures.. but a little bit only.. =( fish ( salmon), potato (starch), vege (choy sam) lol dessert... xD... nice o this cake.. =) is vanila cake... eaten at last...=) hmm....so at first the waitress served us drinks.. Qunny and I drank orange juice... Vinny drank mango juice if i am not mistaken... then have a bun with butter....(sorry i forgot to take picture) next time will take.. =) then after that, potato starch ( is liquid wan).. quite nice.. ( sorry again no picture ) >< then they served us the first picture on top... walao... they serve until so professional... but they are learning lar.. hahaha... =) hope they can do more professional in future... i do not mind if they do not so professional to me...but to others i don't know.. so yea... at last eat the cake... very full o... guess how much everything??? ...

maybe i guess that he will never come back to me anymore.. ='( hmm.. ='( i keep crying so hard since when i fall very sick.. it is like last week... until now still not yet recover... whenever i come back home from college or anywhere.. i just feel very strange feeling... ='( i want to ask... if ever a person you so loved, one day he/she never talks to you again, how do you feel??? if ever a person you so care, one day he/she ignore you, as though as like for so long, how do you feel??? it's sad.. ='( depressing... ='( i don't want to suffer anymore.. but my feelings just come back... it's too strong feeling...='( why this time, i loved a person... i could not let go??? ='( it's so hard to let go this person... why??? ='( do i owe this person in my last life??? until now i still have strong feelings... but i can accept to be friends... i do not know whether this person wants to be friends with me anymore.. because t...

1. you love this person so much, this person did not know... because every time you said 'i love you' this person just think... it is just a '3 words' got meaning wan ok... 2. you trust this person so much, this person can do what he/she likes, because every time you asked 'what are you doing???' this person will think... walao eh, you are so busybody... can you don't ask???' got meaning wan ok... 3. you are mad at this person so much, this person does not care what you think....he/she just do what he/she likes... because every time you want to know about this person's life, this person will think, you are crazy already ah??? why suddenly scold me??? got meaning wan ok... 4. you are worrying this person so much, this person always cannot feel your care... because every time you want to know where he/she goes and want him/her to go back home earlier, this person will think, are you controlling me??? stop it can or not??? got mean...

i don't know whether i make this decision is correct or not.... but for now, i maybe will concentrate in studies... putting you into my heart is my pleasure... but once i am graduate, i hope you still remember me.. because i am a type of person who never forget friends... and...that time, i might still liking you... i do not know whether you have girlfriend on that time... but i hope i can accept it too... just that i am very depress, very sad on what you did to me... until now i still very sad... i might or might not cope... but i hope i can do it.. without i can do it... just need some time... i went for counseling just now... my counselor told me this and that... i keep thinking and feel that what she said were right.. maybe you can't see my sight.. i also can't see your sight.. there is a misunderstanding... so, it is always like that in boy-girl relationship... but...i do not want to disturb you anymore.. because you might think that i am very d...

i don't know why cannot concentrate... =( forced to study and concentrate... piak!! pee!! T____T don't know what happen to me these days... hmmm.... ='( these few days no mood... i also don't know why, don't ask me...>< i went for counseling to book time.... i hope the counselor will give me advise on what i should do for my future.. when i see the problems in the paper, i was shocked... i did not know that my life have many problems... no wonder i become aggressive..lol... ='( career... relationship.... pressure.... ='( career...don't know i can success or not... T_T relationship... previous relationship can forget or not...it's so hard... ='( pressure... have to stand on every situation where i really cannot stand.. ='( if i fight back my talking or control people, people will not like me.. and if i keep disturbing people, also they will not like me... ='( then all my problems, i only can talk to myself... no one w...

i want to know what is the meaning of love and care actually??? why some people never cherish the person who actually cares her/him??? it is so obvious that if a person ignore you, you will chase the person... and if the person wants to attach with you, you will avoid... why like that??? it is human nature??? or what??? i do not know... later i have mid term test.. hopefully i can do well... i am so sleepy now...i woke up at 5.30am i guess... sleepy.. ='( i feel so uneasy..because i have menstruation at the first day.. tired and pain...T_T no one can feel my pain.. anyways, GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!! time to study... see you.... ~~

most people reminisce about people of the past and not cherish those around them~~ when two people are together, the thing we must avoid the most is being serious to each other~~ as soon as someone is being serious, it means that the relationship needs to end..~~ in our life, there are many things happen~~ once we missed it, we could never go back or get back, especially love~~ maybe fate will let us go back or get back the thing we wanted..~~ as soon i watched this drama again~~ this girl was very rude and has hot temper to this boy, but this boy is really very good to her.. but her mother asked her to marry rich man.. unfortunately, she got accident on her birthday when she has to meet him.. that time he wanted to propose to her.. telling that actually he is from rich family... but she did not turn up due to accident... after 3 years, she is still finding for him.... she still don't want to give up.... what meaning i this??? as for me~~ i would say she really ...

what world is it now??? why people can hurt, make other people sad and cry wan geh.... you all no feelings wan meh.... always think of yourself only.... how can... this world so not fair.... i never even do anything wrong... why my life can become like this wan geh.. not fair... really not fair.. hmm.............. i really feel like whacking people who don't deserve... always think of their feelings...never even think of other people feelings... not human wan....animals..!! stupid.... hurmmm.... ='(

i don't know when only my heart can cure from this painess... how do you feel if you really love a person and have to let go everything??? it's torturing and painful... it's been so many months and i still cannot forget the past... every midnight, my mind suddenly think back of the past... people outside see me happy, but what they actually see??? they just see the fake feelings of mine... it is true... my true feelings is i still keep everything in my heart... i just love this person so much.. i care for this person so much.. i scolded.. i angry.... i jealous.. it's all because i too love this person... only this person is not realizing how important to me... how precious... when this person has anything bad... my heart really feel very pain... example, when this person sick, when this person being scold by parents..or other people... if other people, i really want to smack and scold them.. i really angry if anyone scold or say bad things to my lov...

i.. changed my facebook account to a new one..why??? because i want to forget everything... i hope i can forgive everything before... i hope nothing worst will happen in future... i want to start new life.. YOU!... you should know who you are... although you ask me to forgive and forget you.. ok fine... i will.. and do not regret of not having me in future.... this si your choice... at the beginning, i cannot accept the fact... but you made me accept the fact... if i don't accept the fact, means i never respect you... i never respect your decision.... so..yea.... i have to let go everything... time to forget the past... again...this is your choice.. this is what you wanted.... isn't it??? well.... i don't want to say much.... your choice, your life... you want to do what you do... this girl will not disturb you or anything else in future... i mention again... you want it.... you said it..NOT me.... so good luck and bye.... i have to change everyth...

i really feel pain.... seriously pain... my stomach.. ='( i feel stomachache.. like gastric.. i got eat... but why still pain~~ ='( my head also... why still pain.. ='( needle poking my stomach... T_T i got sickness is it??? i just scare to tell mummy daddy.. ='( what happen to me??? ='( i don't want people to worry me anymore.. i really got eat lunch and dinner.. breakfast also got.. my stomach is like something poking me.. ='( very pain... is like i have to sleep when i feel pain... ='( my head not so serious.. my stomach very pain... i don't want to die...='( i want to live longer... although my heart still not yet heal... but i still want to live longer.. ='( i am just 19 years old... i want to live longer.... i don't want to live in the next world alone..='( i don't want to be lonely and alone again... ='( if can i will be with Buddha lor... <3 i just don't dare to tell mummy daddy.... sigh...

this few days don't know why so moody... keep dreaming the same thing.. ='( haizz..don't know what to do with my life now... already half a year... another half a year is happy new year already...so fast o.. i want back that new year... that someone wish me happy new year... ='( i miss the moment we are together... i still cannot accept why this person treat me like this... ='( if i get a new person next time, will it be different or same?? i am scare...really scare... ='( i don't want get hurt again... T_T my heart now still pain....no one knows... because i don't want to express out already.. the more i express, the more worst the condition... especially my mother... she always mention back the past.. ='(  i really don't like la... if i know, i don't want to let her know.. she keep digging me...and i have to say.. because of my emotions..she knows that.. haizzz..next time have to keep deep deep inside.. no matter what hap...

people see through me now... real or fake??? you say leh??? i don't know.. you guess yourself... real or fake is what you all think... =_______= i just scare to disturb people already... when they are busy, i should not disturb..yet i disturb.. =____= what's wrong with me.. >< hmm.... everyday go college, come back at 7.++pm (except saturdays and sundays) today public holidays, so i never go college... then eat dinner at night... then after that i want to study.. mummy keep on come in and talk all the non-sense.. lol.. i really don't like she says all the negative things lor.. ='( always repeat and repeat.... haizzz..... go anywhere together also must talk bad about people behind... cannot like that... i am not like that, she also cannot be like that... always want to win-win-win... adui~~ win so many times, sure one day will lose de ma... arghh.... today mood so down... don't know why... i was dreaming something just now when  i was still ...

why must you keep continue saying all the negative things?? past already, please don't mention it can or not??? ='( the more you mention, the more i remember and cannot forget.. you want to spoil my future is it??? everyone you know...everyone ask me to forget everything... that person also ask me to forget everything... fine.. ok..i can forget...i respect your decision... but i need time...not now...still got long way... you don't know how hard is my life now... very pressure... no one knows... why must you always mention this??? ='( and why must you keep nagging at me??? you know how pain my heart is right now??? it's already been so long... my heart pain.. my stomach even very pain... same goes to my head... why??? because pressure... i also don't know what's my problem... but i know that i am feeling very pressure now... don't make me mad.... don't make me do stupid things.. i said i won't.. but if you keep doing this, i...