i don't want suffer anymore...='(

i don't want i don't want...
but why the thing come back wan....
why can't i forget the feeling???
what should I do???
i should not post emo pictures in facebook anymore...
my friends were angry and told me not to do so...
they are getting tired..
but they should know how i feel mar... ='(
but also i cannot think of myself only lar...
i should think of others also..
so many months already...
why my mind and heart keep the same wan geh...
i read many articles...
i tried to do most of them...
also fail... ='(
i don't know what to do already lor... sigh...
i only scare now is my studies..
i don't want to fail again...
i want this time all pass...
i took 7 subjects eh...
how many is this..
very pressuring...
i hope my parents especially my mother don't put more pressure on me again....
i really don't like she keep talking to me about other peoples' stuff and problems...
my problems she don't care wan geh...
once i tell her my problem, she get angry... scold me..hurt me...
make me cry...then shout at me somemore.. somemore say i crazy....
you don't understand my feelings lar...
that's why now i don't want to talk to you so much already...
the more i talk to you, the more we argue..
the more i tell you my problems, the more you think negative..
now i know... no wonder gor gor and daddy also don't really want to talk with you...
this is the fact... don't blame others...
i know you are a good mother...
but sometimes you cannot feel  peoples' feeling...
because you never get it before...
nowadays kids are under pressure..you have to understand..
last time generation where got wor...
anyways, i hope i can be ok soon...
i really don't want to get into serious relationship again...
you want then take me forever... you don't want then go away.... get it???
don't hurt me..don't lie me... i don't like this kind of people..
i know... you can't help but falling in love to someone else or you have to let go or because of family refuse or friends pressure or anything lar...
you still couldn't do me like this.. you should care for my feelings...

well..i hope i can get a much better boy in future..
i really hope the next boy is my future...
i don't mind where he lives, how is his background, how he looks like, what job he does and whatever lar..lol..
i only mind his attitude, behavior towards me, i need a tall boy, and sorry to say..no offense...i can't choose malay people because i don't want to be force to convert to malay... i want my life forever chinese
 ( Taoism,pray joystick)  because since when i was baby until now...i keep praying joystick..i am Taoism...
i don't think it is good to change religion...that's what i think...
i will slowly fade my feelings away..
maybe take years...
around 2-3 years??? or more???
i don't know... wait until i fall for a boy...maybe i can forget the feeling...
let God do it...let HIM make the decision for me... i am just his follower...LOL.. =P

good nights everyone... will blog tomorrow or someday else.. ^.^

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It was him

When i posted 'it was him'.. you guys thinking ' the guy i loved???' lol.. nolarh.. =.='' not him.. xD just that...... ='( hmm... let me just slowly say here... it's quite sad message.. if you guys want to read then just read... thanks.. but if you don't.. just proceed.. or close the browser window... i know some people don't like other people talking emotional things..== it's just life ok.. got happy, got sad... okie..... enough of that..=.='''' i am here just that.... it was 30th March 2013, if i am not mistaken... because that day, my exams have finished.. i am on semester break.. and yea... my parents brought my brothers and I to my uncle's house.... i went there... and when i reached.. i saw him....my heart hurts....why??? maybe it's because he is my favourite uncle.. and i saw his condition.. my nerve told me... he is getting worse... i kept praying and hoping... that he will be bette...
Read more

Pemanasan Global

Pemanasan Global Pemanasan global merupakan satu fenomena pemerangkapan gas yang dikenali sebagai gas rumah hijau yang mana kumpulan gas ini menghalang dan memerangkap haba bumi daripada terbebas keluar ke angkasa. Sifat kumpulan gas ini ialah membenarkan bahangan matahari menembusinya tetapi menghalang pembebasan semula bahangan bumi ke atmosfera. Contoh gas rumah hijau ialah karbon dioksida, karbon monoksida, kloroflorokarbon (CFC), metana, nitrogen oksida dan lain-lain. Kebiasaannya, fenomena pemanasan global dapat dirasai dengan lebih jelas di kawasan kutub utara dan selatan, kawasan pembangunan perindustrian, kawasan perbandaran dan banyak lagi tempat dunia. Punca-punca: Aktiviti perindustrian merupakan punca utama kepada fenomena pemanasan global. Pembakaran bahan api fosil seperti gas dan arang batu bagi menggerakkan mesin dan jentera telah mengeluarkan banyak gas rumah hijau terutamanya gas karbon dioksida. Semakin banyak gas karbon dioksida dihasilkan, semakin banyak haba yang...
Read more

2 days life..=P

Image
Yesterday was the terrible day..=( I was stuck in my bedroom.. Cant come out.. The door is lock..= = I force to open also cannot.. Aiyoo.. Lucky my brother helped me.. Also cannot.. Call daddy..cannot too..=( Then call uncle..who is my neighbour… Can oo..:) Cool…. I get locked and still my both brothers laughing..= = Lame…laugh at me… Hurmm..lol.. Actually I was fixing the reeling(hang clothes geh) Then..half way doing… My brother open the door.. OH MY GOODNESS… I thought locked.. Everytime I lock wan mar.. So I dunno lar.. My brother open till cannot.. I just stand there like a noob.. Hahaha.. Stupid thing.. I act smart..lol.. So…I say.. Ah gor..i try open… OH MY GOD… Cannot lar… I’m stuck..after like 1 hour can already… So yeah… Then… My eldest brother and uncle climb upstairs with a ladder.. Oh my goodness… Lucky they r safe.. Thank GOD.. =D now okie lor.. =) sorry that I nvr blog for so man days… I was sick… Sorry…=D Now I’m already recover… I’m yawning now.. But my eyes cant cl...
Read more