It was him

When i posted 'it was him'..
you guys thinking ' the guy i loved???' lol..
nolarh.. =.=''
not him.. xD

just that...... ='(
hmm... let me just slowly say here...
it's quite sad message..
if you guys want to read then just read...
thanks.. but if you don't.. just proceed.. or close the browser window...
i know some people don't like other people talking emotional things..==
it's just life ok.. got happy, got sad...

okie.....
enough of that..=.=''''

i am here just that....

it was 30th March 2013, if i am not mistaken...
because that day, my exams have finished..
i am on semester break..
and yea...
my parents brought my brothers and I to my uncle's house....
i went there... and when i reached..
i saw him....my heart hurts....why???
maybe it's because he is my favourite uncle..
and i saw his condition..
my nerve told me...
he is getting worse...
i kept praying and hoping... that he will be better sooner or later...
but it.... just...... went worst...... =''(
i keep thinking positive... i hope he can stand the pain.....
sometimes i felt hurt...
my heart pain because it's hurt....='(
so day by day.... i asked my daddy...
Me = daddy.. uncle okie or not??? =(
Daddy = *sigh* just normal...
Me = *just smiling face* =) and said 'ohh... hope that he will be more okie then...=)'

day by day.... until this week...

Daddy = ah girl... uncle getting worse and he is in the hospital now....
Me = *shock and heart jumping* for awhile.....
Daddy = *sigh*
Me = how come??? =(
Daddy = uncle... he is like... can't move... like getting worse =(
Me = * show sad face* nothing to say....

four days ago...
daddy went to see him....
and when he came back home...
Me = daddy... is uncle alright??? * hoping that he is still alive*
Daddy = yes... just that..... *sigh* when i talk to him.. he can't hear....
(it's on tuesday)

then we went to pasar malam on thursday...
i asked again...
Me = daddy... is uncle okie??? =/
Daddy = nope... he is still laying down on the bed...
Me = *show sad face* and said 'which ward is him'???
Daddy = ( opps..i forgot what ward, but he said that the ward is special care)
Me = ohhhhh.... * with a sad face*
Daddy = haizzz.... hope he is okieee....
Me = yea...

and so and sooo......
second to seconds.... minute to minutes....
hour to hours......
just that i received a whatsapp message from my cousin....

it was 0129....
she told me that he passed away at around 2315
i saw the message at around 0305....
i was shocked.... really shocked.....
wondering who sent me this kind of message..
i thought it is just a dream (you guys know i always dream) lol
then i read 3 times....
well... =(
it's not a dream..
but the number is unknown..
so i hope that it is not anyone related....* i really hope*
but i was shocked when my nerve told me that...
it is someone related to you...just accept it...
so my heart started to shiver....
and... i checked my phone..asking my brother too....
really... it's my cousin's number...
my eyes.... my nose...
my heart.. all pain.. =(
i just lost my uncle... =''(
i really cried for awhile...

i wish he could still alive..
i really couldn't believe that he has left us... =(
really... he is my favourite uncle.... ='(
i know that everyone has to passed away one day...
but i really couldn't accept if that person is closed to me.. =''(
i hope that... he will rest in peace peacefully...
my condolences... may God always be with you... <3 nbsp="" p="">
-may the lord will be always be with you-
-may you meet new and kind people there-
-may you be blessed forever-
-hope that i can meet you one day too-
-take care of yourself there-
-and the Gan's family will always miss you-
-We, Gan family, will always remember you-


-that's the end of my message-

*note = i just don't know why i can automatically make my tears come out when sad things occur, and smile when happy things occur...( any situation also i can do it) i just don't know why =.=||*