WeLcome 2 Mickey Jayin page =)

what am I doing now??? i also don't know what i am doing.. lol... i want to do my homework lorh.. but i feel like want to online... and do blogging.... i went to luther center with my two close friends... i also treat them as my parents and siblings.. lol... got so many ways to treating... i like this picture so much.... thanks to the photographer...xD and thanks to my papa for uploading it.. xD i like i like i like... xD i hope one day can go Korea.. i also wish to travel the whole world... but if cannot...nevermind... i only wish to go Japan, Taiwan, Korea, London, Paris, Italy...... hmmm.. let my brain think got somemore or not.. lol so now i want try earn a lot of money lorh.... well... i feel uneasy now... =( i mean my feelings feel different these few months.. fine.. got to go lorh. will blog soon... tata.. yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.................. time...... tooooooooo..... study...... lol..=P

today in the morning, i go college do my own things... then around like 1 hour, i go find my best friend(i treat her as mother...lol) heehee =P then wait for another best friend(i treat him as father..lol) then we go one place called Luther Center... wahhh.. ^O^... so nice o that place... i wish i can go there again.. ^p^ hmm.... very fun to hang out with my these two best friends.. heh heh... i know and learn many things today.... thank you to them.. will never forget their kindness... ;-) then at night, just now, i went temple with my 2nd brother and parents.. my eldest brother was at outside hanging out with friends.. so until around 10.30pm come back home... haha.. i haven't take bath yet.. lol... come back home straight take bath..xD then do my work lorh.... very fun today..... thank you to everyone making me happy... will never forget your kindness... and God always bless you all... heh heh.. ^O^

after my diploma in accounting.. i want to quit from college.. get out from that environment... =( i don't like.. i don't like... very hard to get along with people there.... how is my life is for the future??? i want to get more and more information about me.... i really desperate... i want to be someone who is full of melody... full of floating in the air... like dreaming above the sky... listening music forever... i want i want and i want... =( i must pay the lady full price then i can get the book... i want know what is me... who am i.. what should i do.... i am really confuse... i want to change my life and get more money... secure..... i wonder.. why people outside there, when they got other people, then treat me like nobody??? i got do wrong to them??? hmm... =( fine lorh... i need suffer one more year... i want to leave this environment after graduate.. hmmm.... so sad.... =(

i wanted to post in facebook, but i don't want.... because i care for you... i don't want people think that you are bad hearted.. because some people only view my blog... maybe my close friends only view my blog... you told me i never think of your feelings??? if i never think about your feelings, then you answer me these questions 1. why i come back home before the sky dark which is around 7.30pm??? sometimes i am late, because i have things to do in college.. but now everyday, i reach home at 7.30pm, maybe earlier... 2. whenever i go, i look behind, i always wait for you... why i wait for you??? why i don't want left you behind??? although you say me non-sense things that break my heart, i keep in my heart... i don't want to argue with you... because i love you.. because i don't want to hurt you... i tried my best not to hurt you... yes.. i admit.. sometimes i cannot control my feelings... i always blame myself... why i neglect at you??? i fee...

i still cannot forget him... i don't know why... i just too love him.. my feelings keep asking me to wait for him to come back... what should I do??? everyday my heart very pain... i am childish.. i am small kid.. what he said was true..i am small kid.. never grow up.. never grow to be mature.... he asked me to forget him... but i still cannot.... i don't know why...... i know i got to move on.. but my feelings and instinct said study first.. and wait until i go to Penang... he might find me back.... i don't know... ='( very depress now... my studies were affect terribly...='( pressure.. i feel like want to go drink beer... but i don't have enough money..lol i want to forget everything... ='( but how can I do??? anyone give me a solution??? you just tell me what to do... i tried and tried.. but still fail.. ='( please help me.. ='(

it hit me like a ton of bricks to my chest it's something that i never would of guessed that you would be walking out that door all the times i shared with you it was the best i never would of thought you would of left don't wanna stick around with me anymore now i, i wish you would of told me why, instead of just up and leaving before you said good-bye if you ever love someone.. everyday it seems like rain is falling down but nobody ever seems to be around these pictures are bitter sweet memories holding my head from pain that doesn't go away and every morning i see your face baby cos my mind forgets that you're not here now i, i wish you would of told me why, instead of just up and leaving before you said good-bye if you ever.. nobody wants to live alone and if you've been touched by the words from my heart then you know if you ever.. if you ever really love somebody what do you do when you lose somebody this o...

tell me your answer.... when we are friends already... why you must not leave me??? why you must like me??? why you must careful of your actions towards me??? why you must think before doing things??? why you must care for me??? why you must treat me as close friends when we already hang out everytime??? why you must not let go of me when we are already very close friendship??? when we are lovers already... why you must not leave me alone??? why you must love me??? why you must careful of your words when talking to me??? why you must think before doing things??? why you must care for my feelings??? why you have to treat me special??? why you must not let go of me when we are already together??? answer me.. i don't want to lose you anymore.. when i know it's too late.. but my feelings cannot control... sometimes i play too much with one person... i want to be best friend with her... and for boy.. i also want to be best friend with him.. i treat as brot...

when i was young, my life was happy.... i never think about love, money and career... i only know how to enjoy my life... do you know what are they??? eat like a pig, sleep like pig, play like pig, study for fun... lol... that's my life last time.. but when i am getting elder, i realize life is very hard to live... i need love and money.... what you want to do if you want money??? you need career... what you want to do if you want love??? you need to understand people... i was defeated.... why??? because i know i am weak... sometimes, i give up easily.. sometimes, i still want... now i don't know what should i do... what am i suppose to do??? what thing also i don't have now... my life is like very black... =( when only i can get love, money and career??? i was defeated, but in future i don't want to get defeat again... i was scare... i was hurt... my life still go on even though it is hard to live now... i just want to change my life.. but...

i failed so many subjects in semester 4.... i felt dizzy and confused.... my best friend told me to resit 2... i will... but how can i don't tell my parents??? i don't want to let them know that i fail a lot.. i will pay for myself... but the thing is next semester i cannot hide anymore... maybe this semester can... but next semester.... =( how how how??? i scare they scold me... =( i scare they don't let me hang out with my best friends and all my friends... i scare they don't let me play computer anymore.... =( how??? =( god please help me i really don't like this course.. but i do it for my parents... they want me to be an Accountant, so i want to pursue it.... i want to make them proud when people ask them what is your daughter studying.... =( how??? anyone can help me??? i already put all my efforts in studies... sometimes my mental also crazy...i just don't know why... sometimes i can be mad... sometimes i cannot control my emotions.. ...

 actually i want A boyfriend... but whenever i get a boyfriend... he always hurt me.. ] how good i treat him also he will hurt me in the end.. and guess what??? he is the one who chase me first... and that is the thing... my feelings is too soft until i fall in love... and that is the thing also... i will get hurt in the end... my studies drop badly... very badly.. tomorrow is my results... i don't know i can at least pass all or not.... i was thinking of giving my daddy rm160 with my own money if i fail many subjects.... =( i am hurt, i am sad, i am depress, i am disappointed and many other feelings... i never been in this feeling before... first time in my life... that's what i learnt my lesson... not to fall in love too much.... not to stay too close... i was stubborn..i never even listen to my parents... i thought i was right.. but i was wrong at the same time because i never get... i never feel... i never know the feeling before... my mummy told me.... ...

you want do what just do... why must show me HAR??? you you you and YOU!! never think about people feelings.... just do what you like is it??? you know what is HUMAN's feelings or not??? what's wrong with you!! arghh... very very very gerammmmmm............. if i ever find you misbehave.... you watch... and you think you post beautiful pictures and handsome pictures in facebook or anywhere... you think real life you are as beautiful/ handsome as that those pictures?? simply want people to like like like and become famous in the net... har.... i prefer in real life... my style... no more internet about fame, relationship or anything... puhh... i want all in real life now.... who ever want to challenge me... you watch out... i know i am better than you.. puh puh.. piii.... lol... want to hurt me??? come lar.... see who hurt who first.. arghhh... once i see those pictures, arghhh... make me feel like punching and give them a blue black.. then they will post t...

i repeat again.. my new semester is coming... my previous semester.. which is semester 4... i promise myself... if ever i fail any subjects, i will get good grades this time... i will put full focus for my studies... no more non-sense in my life... no more boys in my life for now... whoever i like.. whoever i love... i put it at one side... i don't want to get hurt anymore as i said earlier... i just want a happy life, so i can concentrate in study... my job has done.. i already send him a letter.. whether he care or don't care...i don't bother anymore.. boys nowadays just want to destroy my life.... so i better don't want to involve in relationship anymore... i meant it means i meant it.. note = if anyone tries to destroy my life again, i will not let go of you... @_@ got read this column??? don't ever play with my feelings anymore... i hate this feeling... feeling of hurtful... i hate it..!! enough!!.... well.. anyways, i just set up new inte...

once i step in to your heart... i know that i had fallen in love for you... we made it for 1 year.. spending time together... making fun together... laughing together... singing together.... scolding together... kissing together... hugging together..... respecting together.... arguing together..... smile together... and many more.... but you just made it so sour.... i wish i could go back the past.. but the past won't come back... because time won't go backwards..... i don't know how you feel now... i already send you the letter... sorry if i hurt or had made you angry.. i want you to realize.. that i actually love and care for you... now i want to concentrate in my studies... i do promise you... i will study properly to the highest level... promise is a promise.... i will listen to mummy and daddy also... i will always do the things that i had promised you before.... but you broke our promise... i was badly hurt... and my life was devastated... ...

now is my semester break... for semester 4.... it's been one year plus... hmm... let me think properly what i should do for this new coming semester... i want to change my life totally... what should i do??? sometimes i want to meet feng shui to see my destiny in my future... should i go??? i want to know who i will be with.. who is my future boyfriend and husband..lol i want to know how is my life next time.. will be rich or poor??? and many more things... xD eyy.... now raining o.... i still need to do something... hmm... quite sleepy de... should i just straight send him the letter then block him??? i block him because i scare he will block me again.. whatever lar.... i just want to enjoy my SINGLE life now... i want to be different.... single is better... no hurt.... no argument..... relationship is very conflict... you know... sure got misunderstand and all those things.. sad.. what to do... =( now in this world, life changed... well.... i just waiting for n...

semester 5 is coming... next week, 18 september 2012 i hope i can focus... to the maximum level... what i was thinking whole time... i want to change myself start from semester 5.... i hope i can cope up every subjects and get at least B, better to get A.... i promise myself to focus... focus 100% in my studies.. no more conflict in my life, no more relationship in my life... no more misunderstanding in my life, nothing!! i said nothing means nothing!! i don't want anything happen to me anymore... i want focus on studies, as i focus during my low and high school... especially relationship... i don't want... don't want anymore.. =( hurt my feelings only... i hate it, i hate it!! =( affect my studies only.... somemore affect my daily life... don't want forgive the person who hurt me...=( coming this semester 5, i hope i can go to gym and exercise.. haha..hopefully no one will laugh at me.. because i am very very fat..LOL.... i want to be thinner.... i want...

this was last time photo.. xD... i know my first picture is not nice... haha... 2nd picture... err for me not bad lar.. lol.. i just post my last time picture....

yes.. people are helping me... it's hard to move on... but i guess i will try my best to move on... i guess i want to be single until i graduate... i don't want any hurt... i don't want any conflict about relationship anymore because really affect my studies... i am currently in diploma... semester 5 is coming.... no one knows that i still love him..especially my family.. because i never show out... they thought i already forget the feelings for him... only my 3 close friends know... two of them are girls.. one of them is boy...i guess he also know..lol but confirm those two girls know i still love him... one of my friend.. i known her since standard 1... hmm.. she knows me very much... i guess the way she sees me it's hard to move on my life.. but i will definitely try... i promise to everyone especially to God up there... i am sorry that i split my feelings all around to everyone.. it's because i don't want to keep inside my heart...it's r...

the feelings of a human... cannot be hurt.. when it is hurt.... the feel... the touch... is seriously very pain... no matter how much it heals.... it will never be fully recover... am I right??? the memories of a human in their mind... cannot be forget.... when it is nice to remember... the feel... the touch... is seriously memorable... no matter how much it goes away, it will eventually come back to the mind.... am I right??? so please be careful when you are doing things... hey, can i ask you something??? if one day i fall in love with the same boy, what should I do ah??? fates does do the job.. but i am just wondering, who is my special boy... i hope i can have one in the future... i wish i could go through until master..i was aiming to be a master holder now.. sometimes when i like the boy, the boy has a girlfriend.. sometimes when i like the boy, the boy likes another girl... oh my.gg... =( seriously.... challenges in life.. must fight must fight.. haha... if i eve...

hah... asking me to get a life.... you were in my condition, you sure gone case... everything not successful yet.... what can we do??? you sure fly kites??? you sure frustrated??? am I right??? feel lonely??? feel alone all the time??? some friends don't even bother about you??? you can't communicate well with your friends... you are not that rich where you can't spend enough money to enjoy your daily life... you cannot even afford to go other state or other country for a vacation... you can't cope up your studies.. keep failing and keep pushing yourself, adding that you have to forget the person you really loved... you loved the person.. no longer talk to you... no longer be your friends.... how do you feel??? there are many more.... that's what I am now.. get your head...! you couldn't understand my feelings... then you don't talk... if can i change my life with your life want or not??? if not then keep quiet.... if you feel ...

if you really want to forget about me.. if you really want to leave me, if you really want me to give up on you,' if you really want me to forget you, if you really want me to get another person to replace you, if you really want me to change everything in my life, what somemore~~ >0< if you really don't want me to waste my time for you anymore, if you are really just playing for the whole time, if you really don't want to appreciate how much you meant to me, if you really don't want to find me anymore, if you really don't want to love me anymore, if you really don't want to appear in front of me anymore, i might cannot accept the fact... but what i must tell you that you just made the wrong decision.... i am the girl who is sincere to you... you can count how many months... from 30th March to 6 September... where got people can still love a person, where they both  never talk, never see each other, never sms, never call, never keep in ...

my mind is thinking... why people change... that's reality.... i believed that.... and i was wrong because i was not enough mature... even now, i don't think i am mature enough to think for the future... i just realized something...my feelings for you is still very deep.... i didn't show my feelings.. during in computer lab in my college... it's 11.48am, and i wanted to blog, but i got to go.. so now only i got the chance to release my feelings.... well,i still have strong feelings for you... do you know.... when i go to your profile.... it's like i think 2 months plus i never go to your profile.. because i know my heart will cannot stand the pain...so i control myself... i type the name... ' ronald liang' and i saw his profile.. i was shock... that he changed a lot....it's ok he changed a lot... but i don't want him to be a bad person... yes, i admit... that's his name.. the boy i truly love... NOT like.... for almost 2 years......

There  are two ways to live a life either forget everything or, remember nothing. The  rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, and the person you decide to be. That  extremely annoying moment when you're behind a slow walker & there's no way around them. People  change & love will die. You're never good enough & you don't know why. Time passes & things go wrong, but just remember life goes on. Life  is not about people who act true to your face, it's about people who remain true behind your back. Behavior  is like a mirror in which everyone displays his own image...always try to build your respectable image because reflection can't be changed by changing a mirror. Time  is like the ocean, you can hold just a little in your hands. In  the garden of life, a seed of wisdom can sometimes lay dormant and not begin to grow until many years after being planted. Life  is a matte...

people may not understand.... i was one of them.... some people can forget their love... some people cannot for their love... last time when i was a little... i am not serious about relationship.... my mummy told me that it's ok I am in a relationship... but please do not take it serious... if not i will hurt... yup...i listen to what she said... i was once playgirl... i have 2 bf at one time... that is when i was in secondary school... it's all because one boy hurt me badly.. not as serious as now... but i couldn't take it... i thought of giving up everything.. study comes first... for my future... and most importantly my family.. especially my parents.. getting older and older...i being stubborn.... i also always tell my friends... aiya... just a boy/ girl... you can get another partner.... well.. i didn't know it's very hurt... you just cannot feel... now i am feeling it... how i wonder... people can forget their partner in a short period... s...

you can hanky panky to me...but you cannot hide from me... you can hide from me.. but you cannot lie to me... you can lie to me... but you cannot do it to me... you can do it to me... but you cannot escape from me.... you can escape from me... but you cannot go through me.. even you can go through me... but in the end I will know what you were doing... it's all because of your reaction... behaviour.... attitude..... obvious... i can see and feel what's people reaction out there.. how they are thinking.. sometimes i might be wrong, but might be true too... don't play with my feelings..i can feel it... don't play with my emotions.. i can sense it... don't play games with me..i can see it.... you might be laughing at me if i am blur or don't know anything... but.. i might be the mastermind who can know what you were doing... i might be the person who can sense what you are doing next... i might be the person who can sense where you are going next.....