hard to move on but will try

yes.. people are helping me...
it's hard to move on...
but i guess i will try my best to move on...
i guess i want to be single until i graduate...
i don't want any hurt...
i don't want any conflict about relationship anymore
because really affect my studies...
i am currently in diploma...
semester 5 is coming....
no one knows that i still love him..especially my family..
because i never show out... they thought i already forget the feelings for him...
only my 3 close friends know... two of them are girls.. one of them is boy...i guess he also know..lol
but confirm those two girls know i still love him...
one of my friend.. i known her since standard 1... hmm.. she knows me very much...
i guess the way she sees me it's hard to move on my life..
but i will definitely try... i promise to everyone especially to God up there...
i am sorry that i split my feelings all around to everyone..
it's because i don't want to keep inside my heart...it's really hurtful..
first time in my life loved a boy so much...
i didn't know i can love this boy so much..
he don't know... he thought i was playing...his parents and family/ relatives thought i was playing also.. maybe i am from Kuala Lumpur??? girls from here play boys feelings??? not all...i am not..i am innocent...
fine.. it's over.... time to forget him...
i will fully focus on my studies...
i was thinking of getting master  for my studies... study until the maximum... because i don't want to lose to people anymore...
i know that my semester 4... will fail many subjects.. because of the starting two months of semester 4..i didn't even concentrate... then comes to mid-term... i did badly.. i barely pass... i got C for most of everything..i usually get either B or A.... if worst, only 1 subject i will get C....it's sad that we have to left out the one we really love....
but maybe this is God setting...
i hope my decision is correct....forgetting him is the right choice...
just need to take time....
i guess should i send him the letter that i wrote???
or to post on my blog???
which is better??? can anyone tell me???
send him letter or post to my blog???
i scare if send him letter, he will be angry... maybe will hate me...
if i post in blog... i don't know he knows or not...
what should I do???
please.. anyone outside there... do tell me what should I do.....
i just want to let him know that I still care for him.. and want to be friends.. that's all...

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