i felt devastated ='(

i don't know when only my heart can cure from this painess...
how do you feel if you really love a person and have to let go everything???
it's torturing and painful...
it's been so many months and i still cannot forget the past...
every midnight, my mind suddenly think back of the past...

people outside see me happy, but what they actually see???
they just see the fake feelings of mine...
it is true...
my true feelings is i still keep everything in my heart...
i just love this person so much..
i care for this person so much..
i scolded.. i angry.... i jealous..
it's all because i too love this person...
only this person is not realizing how important to me...
how precious...
when this person has anything bad...
my heart really feel very pain...
example, when this person sick,
when this person being scold by parents..or other people...
if other people, i really want to smack and scold them..
i really angry if anyone scold or say bad things to my loved once....
this person, don't want me anymore... i feel so down to earth...
i scare of being into a relationship anymore..
i thought this would be the last... but..not yet... ='(
it's been so many years i am not in a relationship..
why???
because i don't want to get hurt... ='(
i want the right one... but still the wrong one... ='(
why like that~~~ ='''(

it's really sad...not sad..it's depress....
i feel like my life now is totally devastated...
it's like this person is going away from my life..
i felt like something missing....someone missing...
i missed the person now...
but i cannot do anything...
i just cry and hope the future will let me forget....
just that i hope one day, when i am like 'ME'~~
then i will enjoy back my life..
but i got to take very long time..
my feelings is still the same towards this person...
i felt like...keep doing things, so i can forget for a moment..
but it still stuck in my mind...and heart...~~
studying is different thing..i can concentrate...
just that, not fully concentration anymore...='(

listening to this song now...
i feel even more depress..
why??? because it says~~
please don't go baby~~
i will be there for you whenever you need me~~~
don't be stupid, i am the one~~
please come back to me~~
i love you~~
='( really want to bring out my sadness fully....
but i bring out and out...still not yet finish...
what should i do???
who can tell me???

how to continue my life??? ='(

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