i really cannot stand already! ='(

why must you keep continue saying all the negative things??
past already, please don't mention it can or not??? ='(
the more you mention, the more i remember and cannot forget..
you want to spoil my future is it???
everyone you know...everyone ask me to forget everything...
that person also ask me to forget everything...
fine..
ok..i can forget...i respect your decision...
but i need time...not now...still got long way...
you don't know how hard is my life now...
very pressure... no one knows...
why must you always mention this??? ='(
and why must you keep nagging at me???
you know how pain my heart is right now???
it's already been so long... my heart pain..
my stomach even very pain... same goes to my head...
why??? because pressure...
i also don't know what's my problem...
but i know that i am feeling very pressure now...
don't make me mad....
don't make me do stupid things..
i said i won't.. but if you keep doing this,
i really could not stand..
i might come back from college even late...
maybe later and do not want to eat dinner anymore..
just come back and sleep..the next day i go to college..
and after my last class, i go to computer lab and study until at night..
then come back.. you want me to get like this kind of life is it???
no care, no love, whole study life being torture....
i can become crazy you know...
you just don't know how people study...
you said once....ok fine. ...it's ok..
but don't keep repeating it everyday la...
or either most of the days... ='(
you want me to leave house is it???
i have no where to go...
then you want me to come back late is it???
if  you ever mention that 'thing' again,
i will do it... you will see it...
i will eat in my college and come back to sleep only...
then see how you feel...
you do not know how pressure am I...

i already suffer in my studies..because i feel this 2nd year is very hard...need more practice and time...
i already suffer of trying to forget someone...because i still love him...
i already suffer about some of my friends.. hard to communicate...although i have a lots of friends...
i already suffer see you all everytime argue and quarrel... it's like not a happy family..
and always talk all the negative... how can...
how can i stand... you say leh!

arghh...it's very late already...i just very angry and sad because i really don't like...
really don't like this kind of life..this year may be my worst year in my life...
facing so many problems.. add and add... ok lor.. add and add until i go hospital ok???
then everyone will be happy right???
keep 'poking' me like a taufu... you think i feel nothing??? no man.... i sure got feel..because i am SOFT!
please la... don't torture me anymore.. want to talk with me say happy things and good things..
don't put more bad things again.... i am very regret... i shouldn't tell you about my problems...
and should just keep in my heart...although i really cannot accept the fact, i should have control myself...
i just can't control myself... ='( because ...~~ haizzz... is all in my heart..!! you should know who i am saying...!!