People nowadays

Sometimes... I really don't understand...
don't understand what people wants....
especially my family....
mummy told me yesterday..
she said like this...
' Alicia chose her favourite course and now she is success'
'what about you??? so stupid, everytime failure'
' i don't know what you are thinking... know how to play only'


these words.. seriously break my heart into pieces...
seriously.. very sad, if mummy tell me like this...
i just keep quiet and listening to music..
ignoring your words...

you don't understand me...
i love music so much...
whenever i talk about music.. and i to do it..
you scold me.. you said no future...
if you said no future.. then what about those singers or actor/actress out there???
is not i want to be singers or actress...
it's just my passion of music...
i love music very much...
why you just can't let me choose my favourite course???
doesn't mean that i choose music, i will fail for the rest of my life...
i know how it works...


i know...
i know to write lyrics...
i know how to understand the feeling of songs..
whenever i sing a song...usually is sentimental..
i can feel the feeling of either, happiness, sadness, joyousness...peacefulness...
and others..
and whenever i listen to a song.. which is really sad..
i can feel.. i am very emotional person....

what about people???
when they listen to sentimental song..
they will either said, 'it is too emotional or too slow..'

for me no... i will say 'it's touching, or it's loving, or it's meaningful'
or else word...
i don't mind people saying me emo person..
but i know i am not emo person..
because i am an emotional person..
who knows how to understand feelings...
either music... towards people too. YES...

i lived in this 20 years..
why you just can't understand me??? ='(
why you always against what i like to become???
why you always against what i like to do???
why you always said that i play music is useless and hopeless?? ='(

do you know how i feel???
do you know what i was thinking all the time???

i guess you don't know..
whenever i scold you back that i wanted music so much..
you said that i am not your daughter.... i am not a good daughter... ='(

you really hurt me...
why.... i wonder why..... ='(

i wanted love and support from you...
why you give me this kind of things???

you bought me things..yes, i appreciate... there is love..
but i also need love
i want to be a successful girl.. so i can take care of you and daddy when you and daddy become older....

i really hope one day you will understand my feelings...

i am an emotional person...
but will never end my life that easy...

when i sad... i will always listen to music to cheer me up....

that's all....
i love you mummy.. please understand my feelings...
don't always compare me to other people....

don't compare their education and their appearance....
i am your daughter...
you should know.... who am I and what am I....
i hope you still love me through all our heart....

='( *sigh*


good nights people...
<3 p="">