it is very tough life now

this few days i did not talk and spend time with you..

i miss you so much..

i do not know what happen about you..

i cannot say out here..

just between us..

i know it is a secret...

but, is it...

you want to study until aim your graduate ( as you wish ) ???

i still confuse what you want to do now...

the problem now is you know,

i worry you go back so late...

i worry i worry i worry...

i know you will not read my blog here..

but i telling you,

i want to study until diploma only

because i want to go there stay with you..

no one can help me anymore..

i did asked my parents..

i want go there..

they just hurt me..

they do not get what i want..

they always against me..

hurt me so badly..

so when my diploma finish..

and graduation done..

i will go to Penang and continue my degree with you ( if you want to )

this make me feel better...

i know..another 1 year plus...

another 4 more semesters ( 2 short semesters )

...........................................................................................................................................

to tell you the truth...

a lot of people think that i am fake..

especially my brother..

he thinks that I am super fake...

i got a boyfriend from internet..

and also..

if real life, i cannot get boyfriend..

fine...

what you think i do not care...

whatever you said and against me i do not care..

who wants to against me i do not care...

i just hope now to success in my career..

do not blame me if i become bossy and action next time..

because you said that i am so super fake..

it is actually i fall in love with this boy..

that is why i do not want any other boyfriend from my college..

if i were not fall for him,

i will find in my college already...

just that in college,

when boys looking me, i shy..

i mean..

i look away..

yes, i admit i am shy to see them..

but the thing is i do not want any relationship with them

because i am so sincere to this boy..

i know people always said...

do not always be with one person...

what if that person do not want you anymore???

i got think of that..

just be ready...

and i know i am strong..

so just leave it to God and fate...

whoever do not believe in God and fate, just step aside...

meaning you are not a human..

God create us...

He decides the fate for us too..

so, now i just depend on God..

i hope He will let me meet this boy again in the future...

just like 2 years ago ( 2010 )

i was thinking this is a fate,

because at 2008, we meet in a game...

then we lost contact because of personal reason..

then 2010, we contact again...

then now...

comes the problem again..

i hope there is no 3rd time anymore..

PLEASE lar...i am here not to be suffered or get tortured..

i just want a simple life..

for me love is more important than money...

if i have a bit money,..

enough already..

in short,

i hope we can meet and together forever.....

i really have strong feelings for you already...

i promise you i will study hard and get good results..

but I will just aim to diploma.

because i know if i want to aim degree..

i am sure you will find another girlfriend..

because you cannot wait anymore..

so sorry that i could not go there..

if can also, i do not know when..

this is all whether my parents let or do not let..

they are always against me..

this make me feel disappointed..

.....................................................................................................................................

now, exam already..i have no mood to study...

but i am forced to study..

i am going study now...

to everyone...

when your love is beside you..

you must appreciate...

do not hurt him/her..

if one day, he/she is not here,

you will feel the same feeling as me..

so think twice...

good luck in your relationship...

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the end..............