message to my dear....

dear,
i feel so lonely without you...
can you forgive me ma???
i have realize...
please give me another chance...
i don't know what you think and feel now,
but....
i really sorry...
if you really don't care and hate me...
then i sure hate myself forever..
how can i do such a thing to my bf...='(
just to tell you...
i deserve it...
but i really really sorry to you...
i even send letter and use up my money...
i know...
i'm stupid... i will never understand on what i do until you do this to me...
now i realize...
what you did to me now...
you leave our group, and remove our pictures...
i only realize that how important are you to me...
i send you cj7, i hope you like it...
i don't know when i can send you,
but...now.... i send you because i am sending pos laju...
i know you care me so much but i never appreciate..
like that i said..
i will change...
i'm serious...
and my birthday is coming...
i want you be with me...okey ma???
how i want to tell mummy daddy if you are not here anymore????
my mummy treated you like a son you know ah...
she thought your birthday is on april..she keep asking me...when is your birthday..
she wants to wish you and if can also she wants to get you a present...
i know KL people mostly are bad...
i'm not... i just haven't mature and grow up yet....
maybe i can show u that i truly forgive u...
i maybe won't sms or call you because i scare i disturb you...
i will post everyday in facebook at 10.30pm that i will sleep already okey???
this is what u want right??
and i will study properly..
i will find you after my diploma..
i might work here, but every week or one month 2 times, i will go penang find you okey???
if you want to meet me more, i every week go there okey ah???
sorry for everything i done to u...
you busy means with your family.. =)
or with your studies right???
then you free, is with me mar.. right ah???
now i totally understand..
i should not just think of myself...
is now whether u will forgive me or not..
maybe you are angry with me...
i hope few days later when you get the letter and the toy...
i hope you will call me back...and sms...
if you busy it's okey...
i understand... =)
TL, i love you from deep deep my heart...
i love you forever...
i don't know how to face life now...
i really love you..
please give me another chance okey???
sorry... ='(

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