bad mood/sad mood ='(

why i bad mood???
today...when going to college,
one girl suddenly come to me and ask...
please buy this item...please support me..
do you think i am rich???
the way i wear...not classy at all..
and i told her....i am rushing to college...
and she added and added...
fine..i just talk...and i saw my watch...
omg...so late de...
she talked until so long..
and she asked so many stupid questions.. ==
asking me how i go to lrt..need to pay..
i don't have touch and go card???
my neck got what huh???
i bring it for fun ah???
i bring it got use wan ok...
and i showed her...she said 'you never use money meh???'
because i told her..i have no money..
actually i got...but the money is for paying to my friend for some books to study lar...
then she added and added..
make me late for lrt... and i told her... i am late already..later only see you....
and i showed her my watch..i need to reach college by 1.30pm
i explain to her already..i got class and rush...
why she don't understand wan???
if you want to get easy money~~ want to ask people support you to buy your product..
then as well as you go and study!!
don't do these stupid things..
asking for people to buy your things...
you think this will lead you to success???
NO!....
if yes, i also can do what..
i no need to suffer now...
i no need to suffer studying....
now i really have many problems..
family problems and my own problems...
i only control my emotion...
i try my best already...
don't go over my mood OK....
i am not God..i cannot take things easy....
and moreover now no one can really understand my feelings...
if can also a little..but not all...
so i have to do it by myself...
everything i have to depend on myself already...
i already know....no one can help us...
only we can help ourselves...
success is on our hands..
whether we want to bring it to success or failure....
but for me..
i want success...i want to earn a lot of money...
i want to improve myself and try my best to be a better person..
change myself...
i don't want to suffer anymore....

and why i sad mood???
these days i have family problems...
i just don't know why..
my family keep on have problems...
and all come to me...
i already have so much pressure...
do you know???
i have a lots of white hair now..
i am just 19 years old..
and have many white hairs already..
please lar...
i already have depression due to relationship...
and now studies....
and now family problems..
how can i stand these situation..
don't bring all to me can or not??? ='(
sometimes i feel i want to go up to the mountain and shout...
WHY THIS WORLD IS SO UNFAIR???
i never do anything wrong...
i never hurt anyone...
i just express my feelings out...
to show how much that i really feel...
to show people how i really feel..
no one cares...
fine.... maybe they think i am very troublesome..
so... i do not mind..
not their business...is mine.....
but why everything must come to me..???
mummy told me everything....
this and that problems...
i also worry...
i have too much pressure you know....
why???
why can't my life have a little of happiness???
i feel like my life no more happiness....
everything go away from me...
i really really.....sad...
people said they understand my feelings..
but why they don't help me???
why???
i already fed up of my life..
that's why i want to study until get to the highest level..
and change myself...
i don't want to be like this kind of life...
my family...always argue and quarrel..
no money can die wan meh???
why people really need money???
money is God meh???
you say lar...
i feeling like burning all the money...!!
people fight because of money...
people kidnap kids because of money....
people rob because of money....
why don't you work???
you work you get a little salary.
but is clean right???
haizzzzz....
i really really....
don't know what to do in my life...
i am under pressure...
my mind very pain..
my heart very pain....
and now my stomach everyday stomachache and have headache..
i also don't know why....
sometimes ok..sometimes come back...
especially my stomach...
really very pain....
i just don't know why...what's the problem.
i do not know......

i just want to express my feelings in my blog......
because i have no one to talk to..
i have no one to share..
so i can just release in my blog..
this shows my daily life...
i cannot do anything..
i am lonely..and no one listen to me...='(
everything by myself..
feel like crying..='(
my eyes already numb..
so many days already cry.... ='(
i couldn't stand the pressure...
so please....
pleaseee........
='(
do not put more pressure on me....
this time my life really worst and worst..
and i have to solve it..by myself...
i already give up my past..
i don't want to think anymore..
the more i think, the more worst it could be...
so i have to.. i have to.. i really have to..give up.... ='(
this is life...
i cannot do anything.... let the future control me..
but i cannot let the future control my success...
i have to control my success..i have to make myself be success...

so, i could not say much anymore...
i have to take a rest...
because i feel my stomach pain again..and headache...
although it is still early..i have to go for a rest...

GOOD NIGHTS PEOPLE!
TAKE CARE AND APPRECIATE WHAT YOU GOT NOW!