i feel like to shout ah!!

AHHHHH!!!!!!!
studying from 10am to 7pm everyday...
and do assignment when come back home....
my life totally change already lor....
i stay back in college after my last class everyday, except saturdays and sundays..
saturdays go to college until 4pm only...
my life...!! totally change a lot.......lol....
but today's test, i don't know whether ok or not.. ='(
i feel confuse..i need more practice...i cannot just read..
read no use...i need to practice more i think....
maybe i need to go library and photostat more past year questions
and ask lecturer to mark for me before i fail..LOL...
seriously my 2nd year of diploma life is totally different...
it is tougher life...without people's care.. all alone by myself...
i am very lonely when i am at computer lab... ='(
i study alone everyday after my last class.. ='(
when i see people walking together especially couples holding hands...
reminding me of someone and with me... T_T
when i get the new person..
this person don't want me already..i cannot do anything...
what i do also this person don't want me already.. ='(
feel so hurt.. feel so sad..
but i still need to study properly to get my diploma...
everyday i do like that, i hope one day i will success...
my life now totally change...
i really never play anymore...
hope that one day i get a new person..
then my life not so lonely and alone... ='(

nowadays i like treating my eldest brother like my boyfriend.. LOL
he and I message and call free.. hahaha...
i hope one day got really new boy come to my life...
i really feel hurt.. now still hurt..don't know when can recover...
sometimes i still cry.. because think back of the memories...
the memories when we laugh,cry, angry each other, argue, and a lot more...
no matter what...i hope the best for this person...
now i don't know where is him... but i hope he is safe and have a good life lor...
actually i really care and really love him.just that he cannot feel..
i still keep his photos... most about him i keep... and my wallet has his picture with his cousins too..
i never even think of throwing away and or tear it or what...
i still want to keep.. i just don't know why..='(
maybe it's a fate..i also don't know how... i really miss him now...but i cannot do anything...
nevermind... is up to God...

now see my future... what's happen next??? =D

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