no matter what happens... !!

i will try my best to live my life until i die...
i will not do stupid things...
sometimes i think of ending my life..
but why not now???
because i too love my parents...
i scare i make them suffer whole life..
and i also want my life to pay back for my previous life..
if i never pay back for my previous life, i don't know how to face to Buddha/Guan Yin when i go for my next life..
so people.... please do not do stupid things..
as for me...i am still hurt..my heart still very ache.. it's been 3 months...
i still thinking and missing this person...
but i have to let go.. because there is no hope anymore..
i should proceed my studies....
if we have fate,we will meet again...
if Buddha/Guan Yin don't want us to meet again, then we might meet in the next life..
i still love this guy..silently..
no one knows...
until i have a new 'creation' by Buddha/Guan Yin..
then i will forget this boy...
but so far..nobody... and i do not want any relationship anymore...
because i am totally scare....i scare i got hurt again...
sometimes life is cruel... i treated people good. but they just don't appreciate..
i scold, i nag, i angry, i shout... this is all i care....
they just don't understand... ='(
so anyways i have to concentrate in my studies...
how hard, how suffer my life,
i must.. i have to get at least a diploma certificate..
then my future will be stable..
if i stop at form 5 which is SPM...i don't think got use..
and people will look down at me...='(
i really don't like.. people think that i am stupid..and they think that what also i don't know.. ='(
but i am a good person...
just that they don't see the 'real me' ='(
hmm.. although now i don't know how to continue my life, but i think that i have to finish up my studies until diploma...
hopefully next time, there is a boy who care and understand me for whole life...

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