i don't care

this 2nd year, 1st semester,
i don't care i got fail in my exams..
just resit...
because it's all starts from...~~ i don't want to say it here.....

emotional still there...
really affected my studies...
need joyful life for awhile...
need peace for awhile...

i don't care.... i will work this semester break....(depending i got job or not)
i don't want go holiday...
really no mood...
if mummy and daddy want to go holiday.. why not semester 1 or 2???
why must be so coincidence now???
after i break up only want me to be happy...
want to bring me go for holiday....
you two proposely or what wan???
especially mummy.... when semester 1 and 2,  i want go holiday...
you scolded me to stay at home and study...
i cried so much also never know my feelings... =(
i want go Penang find him... that time we haven't break up..
so i want go there... he came on November... so i thought of going during my semester 2 holidays...
why cannot??? why you must scold me??? =(
and now what??? you say want to go holiday.....
i really don't understand what you want...
what you want to do to me???
i really so depress here now...
and you expect me to go holiday???
i don't want... I REALLY DON'T WANT
i want to stay out with my close friends....
they can make me happy...
although my inside is deeply hurt..
but they made me laugh...
what i want, they give me...
where i want to go, they bring me...
mummy daddy different....
when i want to go there and here, you two think about money.... especially mummy..
keep saying expensive and asking me to study at home..
semester break what to study???
i study till so stress and headache... why don't want let me go the place i like???!!
now he is gone already.... how i want to go to the place i like??? you tell me lar..
he won't be bringing me everywhere already....
and i don't have any close friends over there...
he is the most closest to me wan....
but all because i never go meet him..
he keep asking.... why i don't want meet him...
not i don't want meet him..
is you don't want bring me..you don't let me...
you scold, you nag, you shouted...
you said i got influenced by him... NO!
it's because i never go there once..
so he said that 'we are not mean to be together...'
if semester break i go there... and when his semester break he come here..
we sure still together and study together...

so i don't care....
it's all over...
now my studies are really affected...
if i fail, i don't care...
i try to find part-time job and pay for my resit fees...
see which one fail i will pay....
i don't care anymore.....
i want leave this college as fast as i can...
because it has a lot of memories...
make me down when i am alone....
lucky i have a close friend now, Lydia....
she treated me good...
and i get to know new friends...
good good.....

mummy want to think what just think....
mummy and daddy only want me to study deadly..
don't like me enjoying with friends....
don't like me to have distance boyfriend...
fine lor....
i really like this boy...you don't let me meet him...
fine lor....
i will forget about the feelings..
but need to take years.....
you two should understand your daughter feelings....
19 years with you already...
i hope you understand what i want!! how i feel when i am down!! ='(