my current attitude..

when i replied ok... means i am not ok...
when i replied fine.. means that ok...
when i replied 'like that lor'... means i am seriously not ok....
when i replied 'normal lor'... means i need someone to make me happy....
when i replied 'not really good'... means i am deeply hurt in side..
when i replied 'good'... means i am normal for today...

can i say out his name???
i don't want to get emo anymore... ='(
sometimes i feel like going to that place to find him....
i also can feel that my attitude has changed...
i getting to hate boys very soon like last time...
it's like.... the old me...
last time i got hurt before... and i changed...
my current attitude... when i go out with my friends, family or whoever...
maybe alone...when boys look at me.. i don't care... except my friends, my brother and my father..haha..
just that.... time pass not fast enough...
how could i change my feelings for another person???
i still cannot manage to listen sentimental songs...love songs....
it's like reminding my past...
it's like a bee taking the honey from the sunflower away..

when i was outside....
my laugh was fake...i was actually very hurt deeply...
my smile was fake... i was actually want people to smile at me back.
i just don't want to make people worry about me....

i hope i will not be the girl who is like bad girl....
i wish to be a good girl...
i was stubborn... i was a liar.. i don't want that anymore...

i am sorry i couldn't forget you yet...
it's been months..... everytime i have nothing to.. i sure think of you...
i can't help it... i am sorry... ='(

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