i am sorry

Now only i realize...I guess you just treating me as a 3rd party...Not daughter or sister:'( if not, why you keep saying 3rd party to me??? From first time we met, i treated you as my sister...how can you do this to me??? :'( i don't know about your boyfriend whether he is treating me as 3rd party, BUT i treated him as my brother also... To tell you the truth, i got dream of other boy nowadays.. I can see how he looks like but in real life never see before.. Only couple of days i dream about my ex boyfriend..  

moreover, do i look emo??? I look emo because i want to write lyrics... I want to feel the emotions.. I want to gain back my experience in music.. Because singers, composers and musicians are emotional people...i love composing music.. my mind is different from other people...

you followed your feelings too much.. I can feel your boyfriend is treating me like his sister because he has no sister. I don't know whether true or not. But i can feel it. If not why he care of me so much??? He treated you like his wife, you should be grateful got him because i can see that he will not cheat on you because he is a sincere person. Once love, forever love. Why cant you feel it??? Although he asked you how am I today...he didn't ask you how are you, it is because he knows you are fine. He knows you too well already. He knows your feelings and your heart. He can read your heart because he truly loves you!!!

and yet he responsed 'OMG, not again'??? I emo??? Emo of what??? Why should I emo??? Emo for a boy is useless.. If he loves me, he will come back to my life, if he don't love me,he will just leave like this. So i think it is useless to keep thinking about this although he is still in my heart. I emo not because i still sad, it is because i want to feel my own emotions...do you know that???

we both English educated, why cant we understand each other???
Tell you sincerely, my ex-boyfriend is studying accounting course... He mix with all girls, not even a boy. Why i don't get jealous??? Because i can read his feelings, i can read his heart.  Although he stays in Penang, i know what is he doing.. Unless he go out with his friend, a girl one to one... I don't like... Because people think that they are couple.. If group,i don't mind.. he is only boy, and all girls,i really don't mind.. Not that he says to them i love you, i want you or i want you to be my girlfriend?? No right??? what about your boyfriend??? He is studying automotive car studies.. Majority boys... You should be grateful.. Open your mind abit... I can see you are jealous when he and I play together, but you should know that we are like brother and sister.. Why you cannot feel it??? You also got brothers right??? Same lorh..

Maybe we both still don’t know each other enough because we know 3 months only,i hope we can get along longer. Argue and fighting are just minor.. We can be sweet back like usual. 

And also, I told you both so many times, no need to worry me anymore..i already big girl… I no more emo… always remember that… if I emo maybe someone make me sad, or I want to feel my emotions, or you both make me sad or anything lorh…

It’s ok.. when we get to know closer and closer… you will trust me more… I guess you don’t really trust me…. I told you I think more than 10 times… your relationship with your boyfriend will be as sweet as honey forever..and..don’t midunderstand…. I always treat him as my brother… and to you, my sister…I call both of you mother and father because I guess that both of you care for me..

If you have any doubt, you are welcome to scold me..lol…

I just want to be the truth person..i don’t want to hide my feelings inside and got hatred towards you… that’s why when I cannot stand my feelings on what you did to me, I sure say out…

You don’t know that actually I want to argue with you because I want to get closer to you…

If I never argue with you, means I don’t bother about you… it’s like I act nothing and maybe will don’t like you automatic… I don’t want… I want to protect you from those bitches…

Anyways, you are still my best friends… sorry for everything I had wrong to you..

I just want our relationship stays…. J