my actual plan

all the while i was thinking of this...
i thought want to follow my friends go their house,
but i feel selfish and bad if i never let them come to my house..
i have my own reason why i don't let anyone come to my house...
haizz.. i just don't want to let anyone to come to my house...
i just don't want people to repeat the same thing like last time.. =(
it's really hurt.. it's really pain..
no one knows.. only myself.. =(
so i decided not to go to my friends house...
i wanted to go wan... sigh..
i like my classmates, they treated me good..
this is the 2nd last semester with them.. next semester is the last...
then i no more see them already..=(
i will miss them.....
but i don't know about their background....
it's not fair.. they cannot come to my house, but i go to their house...
those who are in my situation now, will understand my feelings..
it's not i evil... i just don't want that thing.... to happened again.. =(
so i just let go.. seeing my friends visit each other house...
sigh... moreover my parents are usually busy and don't bother about me...
just send to school to study and expect good grades from me..
if i didn't show it, they will have sour face...=(
fine... just accept it...
it's my life.. it's my karma....
i will just continue living...
no matter what happens.. i will always pray to God...
good nights...
it's nearly 1am..
i hope i can go the dreamland and see him again...

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