i don't know what you are thinking..

i don't want to spoil our friendship...
why you don't want to reply me back??
or either my cousin??
what happen to you???
my type of person, i don't want to spoil friendship...
even worst... after we break up, i want to maintain friendship...
but i need time to forget my feelings for you...takes very long ok... swt==
i just respect your decision..because it's like that lar....= =
why you like avoiding me??? ='(

i know... that day i used your cousin name to register facebook and say things..
i know you are very angry.. i admit..i am wrong...
sorry.. i just want to show you that i sad mar.. maybe you never read my blog..who knows right...='(
that time i also really cannot control my feelings..
and if i add you back as friend, you will not accept me right???
you say leh???
why can't we become friends and talk again like last time we talk in the beginning?
that day i cried too much because i could not accept the fact...
we play,laugh,study and do a lots of things together...
suddenly your heart change so fast.. ='(
i also don't know what reasons....
you really love someone else meh?? ='(
why you no more love me??? =''(
you say all really wan or not??? my heart keep telling me not..but my brain say yes.. adui~~
i hope you talk to me again soon....
i really don't want to spoil our friendship...
anyone friend with me also if they do wrong or hurt me...
i will forgive them wan...
just give me some time to make me chill myself....then i can accept anything...
i don't know why..i can easily forgive people...
that day also my friend left the book then cannot give me already, the rest of the students got except me..
i very angry, but in the end forgive her.. is like 2 days already....
actually i forgive you...but the thing is i cannot forget the feelings for you..
so i want to remain like brother and sister with you...
like last time..remember on Christmas day???
or you forget already??
i know you say we cannot together...
because maybe of distance..that's why you cannot see the 'real me'..
so...i respect your decision..
and your parents don't let you be with me right???
they don't like me right??? they haven't meet me yet....
maybe you don't like me controlling you...
yes...i got control you...but that was before i met you right??
that day the incident i keep calling you because i just want you to know that i not happy...
so many days you never message me.. i am sorry to make you angry that day...
sorry... i always think of myself.. ='( i stupid... always follow my emotions only.. ='(
i very stupid... really... T_T
your friend told me that since we are together,
you like not happy.. =''(
why didn't you tell me???
you should not keep inside your heart...
we already promised each other not to keep anything in heart..sad or happy just tell out...
then you will feel better...you angry also can scold me..i don't mind wan... i want you to feel better...
and got one secret between you and me..i cannot tell this to you..because i still care for you...
if i say out, that wish won't come true... i don't know you still can remember or not..
but i am not telling you...how you force me also i don't want.. because i still like you...
i just want you got happy life...i can see your face when you meet me..
you never show your real face.. you always hide your emotions which i don't like... =''(
together happy, together sad, together suffer... together angry, together everything... you know??
this is call true lovers.. lol...
i am telling everything nicely to you...
i never mean to do anything or revenge to you...
i am english educated...yes... you are chinese educated..
so what???
i don't mind... i really don't mind have a friend who is chinese educated...
if you got read my blog, reply me ok???

i talked to daddy this morning...
daddy said, human like that means like that...
we are like that means like that de...
cannot do anything... we just be nice to people...
i admit i got do a lot of wrong things to you...
always make you angry...
always make you sad...
i realize that when you totally ignore me...
then i know how important you to me..

i got a lot of things to explain to you..
you blocked me already, that's why i don't know how to send you message..
and if i sms you....mummy will know... i scare she will scold you..
i don't want her to scold you... i don't want you to be sad...
i want you be happy...now is your holiday right???
enjoy ok??? enjoy with your family and cousins ok??? you like hiking mar..go hiking ya.. =)
and your friends too ok??? go anywhere you like...as long as you safe and be careful ..
if i sms you also, maybe you will change number already...
my number haven't change yet.. because.. i got my own reasons why i don't change..
usually i break up already i will change my number, but i don't know why this time i never change...
and also you will think that i am lying to you now..no...
i already know what to do in life...
my eldest brother give me some consultation...so i realize what is life...
since you ignore me, i use up all the time to study..although i feel pressure and pain... but i try to accept it... and to tell you the truth,
i still got miss you.. i don't know why...maybe long time never talk with you...it's been 2 weeks plus i never do stupid things to you anymore....
i can still concentrate even though i missed you~~
remember i told you before?? i can concentrate two things in one time...
ahh... a lot of things want to explain to you la...
but it's seems you don't want to reply anymore... ='(
what should i do??
if wait till you graduate, you will still remember me or not???
i might be going up to advance diploma..or maybe master.. LOL...see first lar..

daddy also told me that you and I so close relationship and end up like this...
how can... he also know.. close relationship and suddenly become strangers..
very hard to accept... so he let me friend with you...
he told me people do wrong or correct, is all written 'up there' ( you know hor???)
although you hurt me badly, but i know, you hurt me not for purpose right??
i don't know how to talk to you in future if i got see you around...
hmm.... just i wish you good luck in your studies...
good luck in everything... be a successful man ok....don't let people look down at you..
i don't like people look down at the people who are close to me....

if you really don't want me to be your lover and your future..
then can i treat you as my gor gor (brother)??? can treat me as mei mei (sister)???
since our relationship so close.....

~~