let me tell you something clearly

i don't know whether you got come to my blog and read or not...
but i guess you won't...because you already don't want me right???
and also you are very angry and hate me already right???
and who knows...maybe you will come..but probably not... ='(

i guess, this is the final...really final.... ='''(
that day i said of giving up and continue with my life without you..
but i did not manage to do so...but now i think i have to..if you don't believe, you can see it..
i already never see your profile for last 2 days...
because i have to forget about you...
i know you already block me, but i got other accounts..i can view anytime...but i cannot control if i see your profile...so i have to stop....
i don't want to do these thing all already...do what?? disturb you lar..i don't want to disturb you anymore.... i know you don't like it....
the more i see, the more i do stupid things and make you more angry and hate me...
i know...certain things i did were wrong..but i do it got purpose...
i got to say out....everything...yes i have to..if not you will not understand...
i hope you got come to my blog and view to read...
if you can remember my web blogsite...then you have to read this part of my blog...
then you will understand why i do these all...


i do this sure got reason...
i know you are very angry and pissed off of me now...
because i keep showing those non-sense words right???
and i fake things right???
if i put my name, you won't accept me as friend...because you never reply my cousin's message...
he told me you did not reply...so i thought of giving up..but my feelings ask me no...
so somehow, my feelings ask me to play with you..see what's your reaction..
because you seem to don't care at all....so i do these...

so i put other people name...
but i never harm the person name..you should know that...
and i never put the person picture also..
people can think that name is other people right???
if you are angry because i put the name..then i am very sorry.... i already remove everything...
because i know... you are very angry... your actions did to me...
you already block me right???
fine... maybe you think different... but you don't understand my feelings...
i hope you understand why i do these...
i do things got reason wan geh...
the purpose i do is to see you...somehow i still worry about you..as usual...
i know..you don't want me to care about you anymore...
you don't want me to waste my time right???
but my feelings keep telling me don't give up...and wait...
my mind keep telling me, maybe not yet time..
then somehow i cannot control myself...

you know or not..??? where i go to the shopping mall reminding me of you...
many places you know... 1utama, curve, midvalley, pasar seni, kl sentral, in cinema and the worst parts are lrt and in my college... these two really remind me of you clearly.. why??? because from monday to friday i sit in lrt..and go college... you think very easy to forget ah huh??? got many other places also... my room also... everyday, every night we talk to each other.. reminding me of you..so many places...you don't know how i feel...really...you never think of my feelings... you boom me up totally! ='''(

i do these also to show you how i feel... ='(
you seem to don't care how i feel..
do you know my feelings???
how hurt and pain am I??? ='(
you should know that i told you before...
if you don't want me anymore..and if you say hurtful and painful words..
i will sure cannot control...i don't know why...
my feelings just want to show you how i feel...
that's why i do these...you should know....
girls like me are emotional..very fast happy, very fast sad, very fast angry..
you should realize it... i very fast sad, happy and angry right???
these are for emotional girls...

if girls do not care...they think like break up ma break up la..
means they have no feelings for you at the beginning...'
do you know that???
if a girl really want to show you how she feel after break up..
posting those words...then she is really love you...
she wants to show you how hurtful she is...
same goes to boys.....
but some will keep in their heart only....
but for me...i really cannot control because it is too hurtful already..
and i don't know how to heal it...heal it takes a lot of time....

so many months already..nearly 3 months...
my condition still same..so how can i keep everything inside??
and you should know i have many problems in my life now...so how??
how to keep everything??? the more i keep, the faster ...~~ you know la... ='''(
i know...you will sure think that i think of myself and don't care your feelings right???
but you should know...
last time also, you always want to break up..but in the end i cry...
you also cry... then together back....
you always tell me...study first... and you are suffer because cannot meet me...
yes...i also think like that..
but for the person i really love, i can wait..i can be patient..
but for you..i don't know....i thought you can wait...
but you told me those words that day really hurt my heart..
i don't know whether you say true or not...
but all of the sudden you just said those words..
shock me up like a bomb booming me...
my heart break into many pieces..
whole night i have been crying after reading your message..
and you know i cry very loud....
i thought my friends message me..but actually is you..
i already know that you don't want me to disturb you anymore...
so i never disturb you ma right??? why you have to remove me from facebook and say those words all???
if you don't want me then fine... you just act as we are friends...='''(
but i could not do it...you are very angry because i keep distracting you right???
because i want to get your attention...
but it seems that this make it more worst...
and i might think that you will be getting more and more hate me...
so i stop it... i know you feel i very troublesome.. OK... i stop it right now... no more distracting you OK!

now, i do not know how to make myself happy....
i am serious... you told me that day, i was really shock and boom...
i called you, but you did not pick up...
so i stay up in my room...
and that day remember when i lost my temper and scolded you when you said you are busy???
because that time i really need someone to talk to...
you never even reply  my message on saturday or sunday..
i keep message you because i want you to reply me...
that time i really very sad....
you should know if i tell mummy and daddy, they will not care..
they will just say don't care lar....just go study..
when people emotion, how to study right??? ='''(
then that time, i feel like you also don't care...then sure i lost my temper lor..
i also lost my temper to mummy daddy...
i said you everytime think of other things.. never think of me de..
then i also say you...but i don't want to mention it anymore...
i know you don't like it...i just say that...i was just trying to get your attention...
but you off your phone...then this make me feel even sad...
sure i say those words...because you like no more care about me...
then that night you remove everything in facebook...
i keep calling you..what you were doing that time???
i already said so many time sorry..and you don't care..
you know or not.... that time is my exam period...
i never tell you my exam period because if i never talk with you,
i sure miss you and cannot concentrate...
so i was thinking, after few days only tell you...when your class starts only tell you..
but you also never tell me when your class starts..
sure i also don't like right??? sure i don't know right???
when i never tell you anything also you don't like right???
then i also never realize i called you on monday morning...
you should call me on sunday night...
then i might tell you monday i start exam...
somemore my exam 2 weeks you know...
how i can stand the feelings???
i really cannot concentrate when you do these all to me..
removing things from facebook...
and ignore me...at least you talk to me in phone lar right???
you cannot just ignore me like that...
you know or not..it is very rude....i call you, you don't want to answer...
i called so many times...and also send voicemail...
at least you answer right???
then nearly to May...
when i saw your post in facebook...i feel that you like very free..
so i have a little angry because you told me you are busy and busy...
fine.... then i called your house phone...
you even scolded me...' want talk talk la...don't want talk then don't talk la... why keep say hello hello'
you know is rude right??? that time i scare because you like shouting at me..do you realize that???
i really cannot hear you properly ma...sure i keep saying hello lar...
i call your hp also no answer...sure i call your house phone lar....
so many weeks already, angry for what???
just small thing only... angry few days enough lar right???
then you told me not to disturb you anymore...
then i never disturb you right??? then why you remove me from facebook???
you say leh??? why??? somemore you remove my brother??? he also never do wrong to you...
he never do anything also... why huh??? what's your problem man??? ='(
you said we can be friends... but why you remove??? you say leh! ='(
then after few days you also send me this bombastic message like bombing me up...
you think i can stand meh??? you say leh???!
you never think of my feelings wan meh???
you told me not to disturb you anymore..then just don't care lar...
why want to remove and say these bombastic message???
as well as don't remove and don't say anything right??? just ignore each other...maybe after few months we can get back together as friends or anything lar...
maybe our relationship can be brother sister or close friends...
you see now what happen...i already help to save our friendship..
but you destroyed it....seriously....in future i don't know because we might forget these things all...
i know relationship cannot be help anymore...
but friendship still can..i sent you your favourite CJ7 also you never appreciate...=''''(
what's wrong with you???
you really change yourself you know...
you change yourself until become like this...
we are so loving and suddenly you bomb up everything...
you crazy already ah??? you don't know how i feel???
you never think first whether you will hurt my feelings???
we are in the same religion...we cannot break promise..and cannot lie...
you also told me that...must do good things...
but now??? you are doing bad things to me you know...
you are hurting me so badly.. and treated me like what??? you should know...
it is like you want to do to a girl back..maybe you want to get revenge.. i do not know... is your mind and heart, not mine..you do to me is like similar to someone who do to you before....and you want to make her feel how you felt..i don't want to mention.. because i don't want you to sad...you should know what am i talking about....
if you don't want me already, you should just ignore me...
don't remove me from facebook...don't tell me these messages all...
because you told me, we can be friends.....fine...ok...
the two things you did really very hurtful...
i was shock and bomb up....
you just cannot feel...
that's why i do this and that to you..i want to show you how i feel...
i want you to know... what you did to me this time were very hurtful..
if you want to revenge to a girl because last time you got hurt so badly,
then you should do to other girls..not me... other girls who are important of rich or high status..
you should know..i am not this kind of person..i want kind person...not rich..
i more attracted to kind person... i already told you last time...
at first i don't really trust you..but since i met you that day,
i already trust you because you treated me so good..
so i was thinking that you not rich nevermind lar...we can earn money together after success...
your face, your looks i don't mind... i am serious..to tell you the truth ah...
my college hor.. a lot of guys more handsome than you..
but why i choose you??? because you are very kind and special to me..
they??? i don't know..some fake wan...some real..but mostly fake..
i already told you... last time i get so many times..handsome so what... not kind i don't want ok...
looks don't really attract me..heart only attracts me more...

i just don't know what's your problem...really...
what's my weakness??? i only know one.. my bad temper...
then what else??? you want me to change my outfit right??? already change...
you want me to change my hair style is it??? on the merge to change...
you want me to slim down right??? on the merge to change..( i already lost more than 10kg...)
you only never realize i change all because of you....
you never see...that's why i ask you to on webcam..you don't want..
you give excuses... radiation and all those reasons.....
just awhile also cannot meh???
i don't think this cause much radiation lar.....
i really don't understand what you are thinking lar...
all of the sudden our relationship just burn off like this..
like we are no connection.. what lar... ='(
i don't like.... ='( more than 1 year just waste like that meh?? you crazy already lar..!! ='''( serious..!

actually got more to say..but i really don't know whether you got come my blog and view or not.....
if got then good...
now you should understand why i make accounts and do you like this..
i just want to show you how i feel...
not i bad ok...because you seem to don't care...so i want to show you...not to the whole world ok...

anyways...got one more thing... your friend... actually told me that you guys exam is next week...
so... i used that account to wish you good luck...but you blocked everything...==
i don't know what's your problem lar...
you really do things very crazy lar.... that's why i also do things crazy.. == 'simply do things without care people feelings..ok lor..
so now i don't want to disturb you anymore..i won't ask my cousin to tell you anything already...
future only can lead us..we don't know about our future... what we will be...we do not know...

so... i wish you good luck in your exams... do properly k...don't let people look down at you...
i know you are clever...you can do it... i know you are hardworking also... pray to Buddha and Guan Yin more... they will support you...all the best in your future....

remember.... i do this things NOT to get revenge..
just show you how i feel... hope you understand...

if i want to get revenge..i will continue wan mar right???
i sure make you very angry and pissed off....
i can keep on disturb you..i can call your house phone or handphone..or disturb your friends.or cousin or family and ask related about you...and also i can send letter to you...send all those scary thing to revenge you..and a lot more lar..all those bad things... you don't like right?? you sure going to hate me forever right??? that's why i don't want to do these all...i don't want anyone to hate me...
i just want to show you...how i feel... you did these to me.. i have to show you... if not you will do to other innocent girls like me...! hmm... i don't know whether you did this true or false..but what i say is all true..!
i don't like to revenge to people.. revenge no use....but showing to the person how they feel can make them feel guilty and won't do again in future...

i really wish you could come my blog and read this part...maybe you misunderstand that i want to get revenge..no...i am not.... just showing you how i feel...how hurtful... =''''(

so i repeat again.....
i do these all because i want to show you how i feel....i never think of revenge...i just telling you i never think any bad things want to get you back... i know...i should respect your decision...
i just want to attract you....i mean get attention lar... and show you how i feel la...sorry lar i repeated  alot of times. because i want you to understand...

then, if future got fate, then see lor...
if no fate...then also see lor...
we cannot control de...
is all written....
so..... take care....!
if we really can't meet anymore in this world...
then i hope next world we can meet again....
but make sure you don't hurt me again next world..
if not... ~~ you see lar...
if we can meet in this world.. then see how lor...

if got other things i want to blog, i will blog....
if you got come and visit.. then do visit...
i still treat you as my friend....do not worry..
forgive you or not... see how long my heart can heal...
but i will not hate or angry of you...
because i feel that you are the best among other of my ex...
but i really don't know what's your problem...
suddenly boom me up until serious. ==
crazy lar you...
now i just think of my career...
i already scare being in a relationship...
so i will be single until my boat come again..lol...
i mean i want to study first now.... then wait for real 'boat' to come....
see who is that person lor..hopefully is my type.... !
if no one then sad lor...got then happy lor.. but hope no hurt again lar..arghh!

if got other things i will blog more...!
i hope you will come visit and read my blog especially this part...!!