life is very complicated, what about people?

i do not know why I still miss you....
i cannot let go....
i just do not know why...
what i do, my mind still thinking of you....
i already promise myself...
ah yun must study properly..
do for the people who want you to success wan..
i should know who are they..( i cannot say here)
my heart still got you even though you hurt me so much....
why o???
and i am a bit confused....
i do not want to say out..
i just keep in my heart...
i really do not want to say here...
by the way, just do not bother the time i post my blog,
it's all wrong already...
midnight i already sleep ok..
so the time is wrong..

people see me in facebook,
i look happy right???
people see me from outside view~~
i look happy right???
people look at my face~~
they said that I am happy~~
do you all know what???
actually inside is still very hurt....
still deeply very hurt...
it's all fake...
i put a smiling face, or happy face, or anything happy~~
i just want to try to be happy and make people not to worry me....
i just keep everything in my heart now....
i do not want to say a lot here...
just to say that,
life is very complicated, got good got bad??? is it???
then what about people???
i do not know their actual feelings...
what they are thinking about~~
i do not know....
whether true or false....
only they themselves know....
but for me, whatever people do wrong, bad or hurt me....
i will not hate or angry with them....
i might not forgive them too~~
BUT~~
one day, i will tell myself,
i should forgive them....
because they are human too...
human do mistakes...and errors...
human are not perfect right???
anyways,
people's life...
i cannot force....and it's all fate...made by God...
if really true love, how bad or good things happen to us now,
no matter what true love will also come back to you....
if got fate, then will come back no matter what...
if no fate, then will not come back no matter what....
time only can prove and show us everything....

now i have to concentrate in my studies...
although i am still feeling hurt...
but i still have to aim for my career....
i already promise to those people who are close to me....
i will study until the highest level i can...
and i will be a good girl...
i know my bad temper had changed since that day...
but of course still need to change....
i need to change more too..

real love will eventually come to you~
real heart will eventually come to you~
i know it's hurt... but this is life...
life can be sad or happy...
maybe God wants me to be stronger...
because i am a weak person...i cannot take things easy..
i always take things serious...
people thought i love to play and make fun..
yes...but that is when playing with people...laugh laugh laugh...like that....
but actually, if i really want something to be mine,
i really want it...no matter how also i still got think and care....
i am serious about it....no joke...i'm serious...
the thing or someone who i really want,
i will keep chasing until i can't handle it anymore...
but i still thinking of not letting go... ='(
why??? because i really want.....
i do not know what's my problem... -.-''

anyways, tomorrow is Wesak Day...
I wish everyone Wesak Day ( to chinese people)
make your wish..what you want....
i hope you can get what you want..
pray hard and you will get it..
and please be careful when going out..
drive safely... if sleepy, please park nearby and always remember to lock your door...
and rest awhile...
do not drive when you sleepy...
and then..err... you should take care of yourself...
when you are feeling lonely or alone,pray to God or think of the person you love,
hoping that he/she is beside you~~ i know you can imagine...
God will always be there with you whenever you have trouble...
Always say ' sadhu sadhu sadhu' Buddha/Guan Yin will be by your side protecting you from bad...~~