feeling different

my life still turn on.. ^O^
but i wonder where my happy soul be???
and also, i wonder where my sad soul be???
all emotions don't know fly where..=.=''
sometimes i think of 'him' back..
don't know he got thinks of me or not...
i know i can forget him... nearly one year already...
my heart keep asking my feelings..
'what should I do to forgive him hurting me???'
my feelings silent awhile..
i don't know what to do..==
what the hack..lol...

then....
sometimes... i dream of 'him'
hmm.. i wonder why i have to dream of him???
he is like calling my name 'don't go'
maybe i think too much...
but he is not beside me right now..
just that i can feel his soul is around me..
i hope he can feel mine too...
no one can said 'just forget him/her' you know..
you will never know how it feels...
until you get it.. =0=''

i was too innocent to believe this kind of love..
i didn't know that this kind of love couldn't last...
and also... if i knew this would happened..
i might not giving 'him' chance when he did any mistake or wrong to me...
there are many.. but i always forgive him so easily..
why can't he forgive me easily too???
if we can't be couple.. we can be good friends...
i still don't understand why he must avoid me 100%..
block me through facebook and hurt me with his words deeply....
i still can't accept what he told me..

if one day, i saw 'him' again...
i might be ignoring him and walk away silently....
if he talks to me... i think i will just act as i don't know him..
if he still wants to talk to me..
do you know what will  happen???
my tears might fall... all the sadness in my heart throughout the pain,
will let go to him.. it shows to him directly...
i hope he will understand when we meet again...
even now i am typing,., my tears are rolling...

so i tell you guys.. i never love any other boys...
my feelings still have 'him'
i know it's stupid... but i don't know what to do...
i want to forget him... but i kept dreaming of him...
if ever he wants me back into his life... what should I do???
if i have another boyfriend, what should I do???
or if i have no more feelings for him???
eleh.. when i like a boy and turns to boyfriend only i can forget him..
so if i have new boyfriend, and at the same time, he wants me back. how lerh....
eleh.... don't think so much...
i am moving on actually...
everyday laughing, everyday sad face.. lol...
everyday wakakaka... xD....
so i know what to do already.. =)

just.... don't ever break my heart...
my heart is recovering... still in progress....
i hope people around me understand...
it's not easy to live in life when you love a person so much..
but you can't even talk to him/her anymore...

-THE END-